Domestic Violence and the Workplace

February Is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness And Prevention Month

2012-01-24T16:17:00.000-06:00

Teen Dating Violence (DV) Prevention and Awareness Month is a national effort to raise awareness about abuse in teen and 20-something relationships – and to promote programs that prevent it during the month of February.

The repercussions of teen dating violence are impossible to ignore – they hurt not just the young people victimized but also their families, friends, schools and communities. Throughout February, organizations and individuals nationwide are coming together to highlight the need to educate young people about relationships, teach healthy relationship skills and prevent the devastating cycle of abuse.

For years, young people across the nation have organized to put a stop to dating abuse. With their adult allies, they achieved a major victory in 2005 when the importance of addressing teen dating abuse was highlighted in the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. The following year, Congress followed the lead of dozens of national, state and local organizations in sounding the call to end dating abuse. Both Chambers declared the first full week in February "National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Week." Then in 2010, Congress began dedicating the entire month of February to teen dating violence awareness and prevention.

Now in its third year, Teen DV Month is celebrated by leaders in government, student bodies, schools, youth service providers, community-based organizations, parents and more.

It is a wonderful opportunity to share information with your employees about how this issue impacts their families – and those they care about. And clearly no one in your workforce is immune from dating abuse at any age….so it is a great way to open the door. We’ve got information and resources below from our CAEPV Members at Break the Cycle.

To get great information, resources, and ideas for activities, visit the Teen DV Month website from our CAEPV Member Break the Cycle.

Love Is Not Abuse & Seventeen Magazine: Twitter Chat #WhatLoveMeans

2012-01-12T11:02:00.002-06:00

You may not know that nearly 1 in 3 teens this year will be a victim of an abusive relationship. Often, the warning signs – like constantly checking in, name calling or keeping a girlfriend or boyfriend from spending time with family and friends – are so gradual that teens don’t recognize that what they think is “real love” is actually a toxic, controlling and dangerous relationship.

In this month’s issue of Seventeen Magazine, teens are speaking up about the unhealthy relationships they’ve experienced and encouraging their peers to understand what a true relationship should feel like.

Now, our friends at Love Is Not Abuse are taking the conversation to Twitter, and hope you can join them as Love Is Not Abuse and Seventeen Magazine host a series of live Twitter Chats on #Whatlovemeans on Mondays from January 16 through February 6 from 4 – 5 p.m. ET.

These Twitter chats will give teens a chance to get their relationship questions answered by experts and share their thoughts on dating, relationships and what behaviors should (and should never) be accepted from a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The first #Whatlovemeans Twitter chat kicks off Monday, January 16^th at 4 p.m. ET and we hope that you and your community can join us and help spread the word!

To join, sign in to your account at www.twitter.com. Search for the hashtag #Whatlovemeans to follow the conversation and add the hashtag to your own tweets to join in.

For more information, check out the announcement on loveisnotabuse.com, here , or pick up this month’s issue of Seventeen Magazine.

Don’t forget to follow them on Twitter (@Love_IsNotAbuse and @SeventeenMag) and check out Love Is Not Abuse on Facebook (www.facebook.com/loveisnotabuse) for more updates.

January Is National Stalking Awareness Month - Would You Know Stalking If You Saw It?

2011-12-21T10:21:00.003-06:00

“Joe seemed like a nice guy. I met him through one of those online dating sites. I made a mistake and finally gave him my personal email. Then the emails came fast and furious. It was ‘too much too soon’ so I backed away.

Now he won’t leave me alone. I asked for no further contact – but he sent me flowers to my workplace – and I never told him where I work. I am getting concerned. My co-workers think I am being silly…but I am not so sure. What do I do?”

Would you know stalking if you saw it? Would you know it if it was happening to you?

January is National Stalking Awareness Month. Did you know:

· One in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the United States have experienced stalking victimization at some point during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.

· Two-thirds (66.2%) of female victims of stalking were stalked by a current or former intimate partner; men were primarily stalked by an intimate partner or an acquaintance, 41.4% and 40.0%, respectively.

· Repeatedly receiving unwanted telephone calls, voice, or text messages was the most commonly experienced stalking tactic for both female and male victims of stalking (78.8% for women and 75.9% for men).

· More than half of female victims and more than one-third of male victims of stalking indicated that they were stalked before the age of 25; about 1 in 5 female victims and 1 in 14 male victims experienced stalking between the ages of 11 and 17.

(CDC NISVS Survey, released December 2011)

The National Stalking Awareness Month website has been updated with 2012 materials - including posters, public service announcements, buttons, website banners, and more.

There are also examples of how you can raise awareness about stalking, sample status updates for a variety of social networking sites, and a quiz to check your knowledge on stalking. (I even missed some of the quiz questions!)

Go to www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org to learn more.

For the Presidential Proclamation of National Stalking Awareness Month, click here.

What to do if you are the victim of a stalker

· If you feel you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.

· Trust your instincts. If you sense you are in danger, you probably are.

· Tell the stalker "no" only once. Repeatedly saying "no" reinforces the stalking by keeping the stalker engaged. Do not confront or try to bargain with a stalker.

· Get an answering machine and leave it on your old phone line. Get another unlisted number for your family and friends. Have a friend monitor the answering machine if it is difficult for you. If you close off an avenue to a stalker they will find another which may be worse.

· Develop a safety plan. Safety plans can includes such things as changing your routes to work, arranging for others to accompany you in public, temporarily staying with friends, planning what you can say if you run into the stalker, keeping an emergency phone nearby.

· Try to secure your accounts so your stalker cannot access information about you. Change your passwords frequently. Contact the utility companies and set up a password for your account. Block your address at Department of Motor Vehicles. Check with the Secretary of State's office to see if you are eligible for a confidential address.

· Document everything even if you don't go to the police. Photograph injuries and damages. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Keep a log of dates, times, places, and witnesses.

· Tell others that you are being stalked so that neighbors and co-workers will be alerted not to divulge information and will inform you when he/she is around.

Seek help. Document everything. Take it seriously.

CDC Releases NISVS Findings

2011-12-14T11:44:00.000-06:00

"On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States. Over the course of a year, that equals more than 12 million women and men. Those numbers only tell part of the story – more than 1 million women reported being raped, and over 6 million women and men were a victim of stalking."

On December 14, the Division for Violence Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention presented the initial findings from the National Intimate Partner Violence and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS).

NISVS is an ongoing, nationally representative survey that assesses experiences of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence among adult women and men in the United States. It measures lifetime victimization for these types of violence as well as victimization in the 12 months prior to the survey.

The survey goes beyond counting acts of sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence by assessing the range of violence experienced by victims and the impact of that victimization. The report also includes the first ever simultaneous national and state-level prevalence estimates of these forms of violence for all states.

The findings show that, on average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States. Over the course of a year, that equals more than 12 million women and men. Those numbers only tell part of the story – more than 1 million women reported being raped, and over 6 million women and men were a victim of stalking.

These findings emphasize that sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence are widespread and a major public health problem in the United States. The report underscores the heavy toll of this violence, particularly on women; the immediate impacts of victimization; and the lifelong health consequences of these forms of violence. For example:

· Nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime.

· Approximately 80% of female victims were raped before the age of 25, and almost half before the age of 18. About 35% of women who were raped as minors were also raped as adults compared to 14% of women without an early rape history.

· 1 in 4 women have been the victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner while 1 in 7 men experienced severe violence by an intimate partner.

· 81% of women who experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner reported significant short and long term impacts related to the IPV experienced such as fear, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, and injury, while 35% of men reported such impacts from the IPV experienced.

· Women who experienced rape or stalking by any perpetrator or physical violence by an intimate partner were more likely than women who did not experience these forms of violence to report asthma, diabetes, and irritable bowel syndrome, as well as other health consequences.

The full report and more resources are available here.

LIZ CLAIBORNE’S 8th ANNUAL “IT’S TIME TO TALK DAY” TAKES PLACE DECEMBER 8, 2011

2011-12-01T09:26:00.002-06:00

What are you doing on December 8, 2011? Around here at CAEPV – and across the country – people are “taking a moment to talk.”

CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. and it’s partners have been joining forces for It's Time to Talk Day annually (for eight years now) as a way to encourage greater public dialogue about domestic violence. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is proud to be one of those partners.

Around the country, talk radio, government officials, domestic violence advocates, businesses, schools and the public-at-large take a moment - or more - to talk openly about an issue that affects nearly one in three women at some point in their lifetime. In fact, millions of talk radio listeners around the country were reached with the message since the inception of It’s Time to Talk Day in 2004.

Liz Claiborne is continuing their very successful partnership with Talk Radio News Service by sponsoring their annual “Talk Radio Row on Domestic Violence” at Liz Claiborne Inc. headquarters in New York City. Leading national and local talk radio hosts will be conducting back-to-back interviews with guests on various domestic violence issues throughout the entire day.

This year’s participants include Alan Colmes of Fox News Radio; Dr. Joy Browne of WOR Radio Network; Mark Riley of WWRL, New York; Curtis Sliwa of WNYM (The Apple), New York; Roberta Facinelli of “Doug Stephan’s Good Day;” John Fugelsang of “The Stephanie Miller Show;” Kevin McCullough of “The Kevin McCullough Show” and “Baldwin/McCullough;” Maria Bailey of “Mom Talk Radio;” Gary Baumgarten of Paltalk; Lionel of WPIX-TV, New York Channel 11 and LionelMedia.com; Barry Farber of Talk Radio Network and CRN Digital Talk Radio; Lisa Wexler of “The Lisa Wexler Show;” Ken Pittman of WBSM, New Bedford, MA/Providence, RI; Dr. Renee Kohanski of PodJockey; Dan Patterson of KoPoint and Ellen Ratner and Geoff Holtzman of Talk Radio News Service who will be broadcasting throughout the day to several hundred of the news service’s affiliates.

Joining the lineup this year will be representatives of college talk radio with WRHU, Hempstead of Hofstra University; WLIU, Brooklyn of Long Island University and WNEK, Springfield, MA of Western New England University in attendance. Included among those who will be taking live and recorded feeds from the event are Thom Hartmann of “The Thom Hartmann Show;” Dom Giordano of WPHT, Philadelphia; and Carole Marks of “A Touch of Grey” with several more to be announced.

TALKERS publisher Michael Harrison states, “‘It’s Time to Talk Day’ is certainly one of our most important annual events. It raises consciousness about a societal problem that impacts a frighteningly large segment of the population and it cuts across all gender, ethnic and demographic boundaries. There isn’t a spoken-word format that doesn’t find the topic of domestic violence applicable to its audience and extremely compelling. Most importantly, we get feedback each year that this radio row, upon reaching millions of talk radio listeners, really does make a huge difference in the lives of real people. It doesn’t get better than that. We are grateful to Liz Claiborne, Inc. for their public-mindedness in supporting such a valuable project.” Talkers.com will provide full coverage of the event.

You can make a difference by hosting an "It's Time to Talk Day" event in your community. For the past several years cities and organizations from around the country held various programs to raise awareness of the issue. Programs and events have ranged from big, organized efforts such as press conferences, walks and vigils, to creative projects such as plays, and lastly educational efforts were made to devote this day to teaching the curriculum at local schools. For event ideas for your community, click here.

We are proud to be part of this effort as ask you to “take a moment to talk” on December 8. As our electronic billboards say, perhaps you can start the conversation with co-workers, chat over coffee with friends, talk with your family over dinner, or simply talk with your children about healthy relationships.

Not sure where to start? Liz Claiborne has great tips in their downloadable booklets on their Love Is Not Abuse website. You can check them out here.

Join us in taking a moment to talk on December 8. You may change – or save – a life.

Registration Now Open: Verizon Wireless "Train the Trainer" Webinar December 15, 2011

2011-11-23T08:36:00.002-06:00

We are delighted to present our third webinar "Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Verizon Wireless’ Train the Trainer Model" -- an educational opportunity provided through the CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series.

An audio/video recording of this webinar is available here: https://calcasa.ilinc.com/join/mtwkhtz

WHEN: Thursday, December 15, 2011
2:00 PM- 3:00 PM ET / 1:00 PM- 2:00 PM CT / 11:00 AM- 12:00 PM PT

WHY: A recent survey of CEOs found that most believe domestic violence to be a serious issue, yet 71% did not believe it is a problem in their company. The reality is that approximately 21% of full-time working adults report being a victim of domestic violence.

This webinar will highlight the successful “train the trainer” program used by Verizon Wireless to address domestic violence at the workplace, and will show how other employers can replicate this model in other workplace settings.

HOST: Elva Lima, Executive Director, Community Relations and Multicultural Communications,Verizon Wireless

PRESENTERS:

· Jeremy Bruce, Manager, Employee Relations, Verizon Wireless

· Rob Peirce, Manager, Employee Relations, Verizon Wireless

INTERVIEWER: Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

An audio/video recording of this webinar is available here: https://calcasa.ilinc.com/join/mtwkhtz
For additional event information, visit: http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=73

The CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series is made possible by a grant from HopeLine® from Verizon.

Honor Our Voices - Children's Perspectives of Domestic Violence

2011-11-16T09:23:00.000-06:00

Did you know that over half of the residents of domestic violence shelters in the United States are children? (National Network to End Domestic Violence, 2010).

A new, innovative online training program called Honor Our Voices (www.honorourvoices.org) aims to elevate children’s voices, so that service providers may better hear, understand, and respond to the children and families they serve.

Honor Our Voices is designed to provide the opportunity to see domestic violence through the eyes and voices of children. The purpose of this learning module is to create a multi-pronged response to increase the awareness and sensitivity of shelter advocates and other social service providers to the needs of children and suggest promising ways of enhancing services for children exposed to domestic violence.

Included in this learning module is a downloadable guide for practice and a digital library of short audio programs that highlight specific promising practices through the voices of children.

The project was created by the Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse (MINCAVA) and the Center for Advanced Studies in Child Welfare at the School of Social Work at the University of Minnesota, with support from the Avon Foundation for Women.

It is so important to give voices to the most vulnerable among us - and honoring the voices of children exposed to domestic violence is one

Domestic Violence and the Holidays - What Do You Say?

2011-11-09T10:38:00.002-06:00

The holidays are coming and you will be around family and friends that you may not usually see. And what if you see something that you are concerned about? What if you think someone you care about may not be in a safe relationship?

Here is the big difficult question: "What do you say to someone if you are concerned that they may be in an abusive relationship?"

Here is one pretty good way that I've found to talk with someone -- granted this is my style and everyone has a different style, but it goes something like this:

"You know I really care a lot about you. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you've noticed -- for example, the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask -- are you safe in your relationship?"

Because really, if you think about it, that is the point, isn't it? You WOULD rather be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable asking, or be wrong rather than have something bad happen to a friend of yours and not say something.

And -- so what if your friend tells you that he or she is fine?

Then say: "Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren't ok, I want you to know my door is always open." And you may also want to add, "And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?"

Because the point is, if we really have one another's backs, we should be able to ask each other these questions. And then if you can, you may want to check in again with your family member or friend again in a few weeks just to see how things are going.

People don't always tell you right away when they are in a relationship that is not safe or good for them. It takes time and it is not easy.

For help or assistance anytime (or just to check things out), call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out http://www.thehotline.org. Or for those in dating relationships, check out the National Dating Abuse Helpline -- on the web at http://www.loveisrespect.org or at 1-866-331-9474.

It never hurts to ask -- and it may help change or save the life of someone you care about.

(And survivors....any comments or additional suggestions you have are most welcome! You know best what is helpful!)

RECORDING & RESOURCES AVAILABLE: “TELLING AMY’S STORY: A TOOL FOR ADDRESSING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE” WEBINAR

2011-11-03T15:52:00.000-05:00

In recognition of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, CAEPV held our second CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar: “Telling Amy’s Story – A Tool for Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace” on October 26, 2011.

The documentary Telling Amy's Story follows the timeline of a domestic violence homicide that occurred on November 8, 2001. The victim's parents and co-workers, law enforcement officers, and court personnel share their perspectives on what happened to Amy in the weeks, months, and years leading up to her death.

HOSTS:

Mike Mason, Chief Security Officer, Verizon
Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

PRESENTERS:

Jayne Mayer, Director, Employee Engagement, Verizon Foundation
Yandira Melon, EAP Counselor, Verizon
Angela Long, Director of Security, Verizon
Alphonsus (Fons) Marcelis, Head, HRS Corporate Operations, The World Bank Group

The audio/video recording of the webinar as well as the associated resources are available here.

A Tale of Two Hospital Rooms

2011-10-20T10:20:00.000-05:00

I was really struck by two news stories I saw thismorning – and the stark difference between them.

Here’s the first one – “IowaCouple Married 72 Years Dies Holding Hands, an Hour Apart.” This coupleloved and cherished one another all through their lives…and died holding handsin the hospital. I think their story is a beautiful testimony to love and respectthroughout a lifetime.

Here is the other story – “Pekinman in custody after double stabbing Tuesday.” In this story, a manallegedly stabbed his estranged wife and their son (in violation of an order ofprotection)…he is in custody and his estranged wife and son are both in the hospital.

A tale oftwo hospital rooms. A tale of tworelationships. Both started somewherewith people who had promised to love and cherish and honor and respect oneanother.

One endedwith love and respect.

One endedwith violence.

What is thedifference? Why does one persondetermine to treat those he or she loves with respect and kindness throughoutlife…and why does another person choose to frighten, injure…and perhaps evenkill those he or she once pledged to love?

I don’tknow.

I mean Iknow all of the hypotheses – cultural, sociological, psychological…the latestresearch. I know all of that.

But at theend of the day I am just overwhelmed by the difference in these two pictures oflives of real people.

And I thinkthat while the life of Gordon and Norma Yeager is rare….it is closer to what I think we all want to see – a life where peoplefeel safe and secure with those who love them.

And I wantto see the day that the life of Shane Rhoades’ estranged wife and child israrer and rarer…

If you ever wonder if your relationship is as safe as itcould be, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline anytime at1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or take a look at their website at www.thehotline.org.

Telling Amy's Story - A Tool for Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace Webinar

2011-10-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

In honor ofDomestic Violence Awareness Month, the Corporate Alliance to End PartnerViolence (CAEPV) is pleased to present “TellingAmy’s Story – A Tool for Addressing Domestic Violence in the Workplace.” Thiswebinar takes place Wednesday, October 26, 2011 from 2:00 - 3:30 PM ET.

Domesticviolence does not stop at the door when employees go to work. The CAEPVHopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series is designed to help increase employerawareness of domestic violence as a workplace issue and offer strategies foremployers to recognize and respond to it.

The documentary TellingAmy's Story follows the timeline of a domestic violence homicide thatoccurred on November 8, 2001. The victim's parents and co-workers, lawenforcement officers, and court personnel share their perspectives on whathappened to Amy in the weeks, months, and years leading up to her death.

This webinar will highlight how Telling Amy's Story has beensuccessfully used at workplaces as a tool to educate employees and managersregarding domestic violence and how this success can be replicated in otherworkplace settings.

HOSTS:

Mike Mason, Chief Security Officer, Verizon
Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

PRESENTERS:

Angela Long, Director of Security, Verizon
Jayne Mayer, Director, Employee Engagement, Verizon Foundation
Yandira Melon, EAP Counselor, Verizon
Alphonsus (Fons) Marcelis, Head, HRS Corporate Operations, The World Bank Group

Registration closed on Monday, October 24, 2011. To view webinar resources, to view the recording after the webinar, and for additional information, visit: http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=72

To view "Telling Amy's Story," visit http://youtu.be/TsFv4DiPKFg

More Than One-Third of Americans Have Never Discussed Domestic Violence

2011-10-10T13:16:00.001-05:00

Are yousurprised by the results of this new survey by The Allstate Foundation?

Even though domestic violence affects one infour women in their lifetime, more than one-third of Americans have neverdiscussed the issue with a friend or family member. Three out of five believethat it is a difficult issue to discuss.

This month,The Allstate Foundation and the YWCA are joining forces to break the silenceand raise awareness about domestic violence by launching a new campaigndesigned to spur conversation and make it easier to talk about the issue. Basedon The Allstate Foundation's long-term commitment to helping empower womeneconomically to end domestic violence, the campaign encourages individuals tospread the story of the Purple Purse – the Foundation's new national symbol fordomestic violence.

"Whatmany people don't realize is that abuse can be financial in nature such aswithholding banking information or controlling a partner's money or misusingher financial identity and ruining a person's credit. This occurs just asfrequently as physical abuse," said Michele Mayes,Allstate executive vice president & general counsel. "We are rallyingpeople behind the Purple Purse because it stands for economic empowerment andrepresents the center of a woman's financial domain. It's also meant to conveythe message that it's okay to talk about it – in fact please do."

To spreadthe message about the power of the Purple Purse, The Allstate Foundation todaylaunched www.PurplePurse.com.The website appears to be an online shopping magazine, but after scrolling downthe page, the user will find a variety of information and resources specific tothe issue of domestic violence and financial empowerment. The website serves asa tool to raise awareness and provides a safe and informative place for womento educate themselves. PurplePurse.com also provides a place for women to starta discussion about domestic violence.

"Asthe largest provider of domestic violence services in the nation, the YWCA hasworked tirelessly to combat domestic violence," says Gloria Lau, CEO of the YWCA USA."Our partnership with The Allstate Foundation to heighten awareness ofdomestic violence and launch PurplePurse.com is another meaningful step in oureffort to end this horrible epidemic in our society."

To kick-offthe campaign, The Allstate Foundation and YWCA, along with top bloggers, areorganizing TweetUps in nine cities across the country. The events are plannedin nine cities across the country, including Birmingham,Ala., Chicago, Cincinnati,Cleveland, El Paso,Texas, Los Angeles, New York City, Seattle,and Tucson, Ariz.

Theseevents are designed to explain the story behind the Purple Purse, shareinformation about the issue and encourage individuals to help spread the wordabout the campaign. TweetUp attendees will also have the opportunity to hearfrom a domestic violence survivor at each event. As an additional incentive toinspire more people to get involved, The Allstate Foundation will donate $100 for each TweetUp attendee, up to $10,000 at each event, totaling a $90,000contribution to the YWCA.

Individualsacross the country are encouraged to participate in the campaign and show theirsupport by carrying a purple purse or bag throughout October, posting theirfavorite purple purse pics to PurplePurse.com and downloading the Purple Pursewidget available on the website. This widget makes it easy to share PurplePurse content through social media and is designed to ensure that more peoplein need will be able to get information that can help.

Each year,The Allstate Foundation contributes more than $3 millionin grants and programming to support economic empowerment for survivors and tohelp end domestic violence. Visit www.PurplePurse.com and www.ClickToEmpower.comto learn more.

About theSurvey

TheAllstate Foundation partnered with ORC International to conduct the research ondomestic violence awareness. ORC International conducted telephone surveysamong a national probability sample of 1,002 adults between September 22-25, 2011.

The samplewas comprised of 501 men and 501 women 18 years of age and older, living inprivate households in the continental United States.The sampling error associated with a sample size of 1,002 is plus/minus two tothree percentage points at a 95 percent confidence level.

So -- check out www.PurplePurse.com ...and keep on spreading the purple!

What Are YOU Doing For Domestic Violence Awareness Month? (Or…Where Is All The Purple?)

2011-10-05T10:08:00.000-05:00

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

I realize it is also a month to recognize a lot of other really important issues -- most notably breast cancer.

But while you see a lot of "pink" around, do you see a lot of "purple"? (Purple is the color that represents domestic violence awareness in the same way that pink represents breast cancer awareness.)

I have seen pink mixers, pink bras, pink baseball bats, pink shoes, pink applesauce containers. . . you name it. But why not purple?

I have some guesses.

A long time ago, no one talked about breast cancer -- they kept it a secret, and somehow it was a "shame" and was somehow the fault of the person who received the diagnosis. But fortunately that has changed, and we no longer blame breast cancer victims. We call them survivors. And we honor them for their amazing courage. And we should.

Now -- with domestic violence, we are not exactly there. We are uncomfortable with it because we are not really sure what "causes" it, whose "fault" it is, what we should do about it, or how to even say something to someone. I don't know all the reasons. I just know this -- it is highly uncomfortable for us.

But put all that aside for a moment.

I think we can all agree that the one place everyone should be safe and secure is in their own homes where they should feel loved and cherished. And I think we can all learn a bit about how to be healthier in our own relationships (which is also a source of discomfort for us, I think) and also learn how to recognize if someone is in a relationship that is perhaps not as healthy or safe as it could be.

I am not sure it "matters" that I "get" everything about someone else's relationship. I am really clear that no one deserves to be hit. Or slapped. Or to have things thrown at them. Or to be intimidated. Or for their children to be afraid.

Maybe for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it would be good if we could all do what 30 organizations and businesses in Central Illinois did on October 4. They asked people just learn to talk about this -- not argue about it, not decide if it is a "men's thing" or a "women's thing" -- but just realize it is a thing that impacts everyone.

On October 4, many, many of those people wore purple. One of them told me she wore purple and asked people if they knew why she was wearing that color. If they didn't, she started a conversation with them about it. Isn't that great?

Spread the purple!!!!

(You can get more ideas for raising awareness and making a difference from this simple list of "10 Things You Can Do About Domestic Violence.")

10 Things You Can Do About Domestic Violence

2011-09-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

As we begin October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, people have been asking me "What can I do about domestic violence? Is there something I can do to help?" Here is a short list of ideas. Certainly you can add your ideas or additions at the end:

1) Join the Love Is Not Abuse Coalition and get involved in a growing, national grassroots movement of parents, teachers and ANYONE who cares about getting dating abuse education into every middle school and high school in the country. Go to http://loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/who-we-are to learn more.

2) Find out more about domestic violence. Go to http://www.clicktoempower.org/ and see the stories of survivors and what made the difference for them.

3) Go to http://whatwedid4love.com and support the National Domestic Violence Hotline by purchasing these pieces by Sueanne Shirzay and other artists.

4) Learn about how domestic violence impacts your workplace by visiting http://www.caepv.org/.

5) Remember the National Domestic Violence Hotline Number: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or http://www.thehotline.org/. You can call to help others or yourself.

6) Donate your old cell phone, batteries, or chargers (any brand) at any Verizon Wireless store or use free mailing label http://aboutus.vzw.com/communityservice/Shipping.html. Learn more about the HopeLine from Verizon program at http://aboutus.vzw.com/communityservice/hopeLine.html

7) Learn to talk to your kids about healthy relationships by downloading tip booklets from http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/.

8) Try to understand what happens in domestic violence and how it impacts people. Check out http://www.domesticviolenceworkplace.blogspot.com/. And comment!

9) Don't ask "Why would that victim go back?" ask "Why would a person hit or abuse someone they love?"

10) Be safe, healthy and happy in your own relationships. Because you matter. And you deserve it. And you are very, very precious.

New Survey Finds 43% Of Dating College Women Have Experienced Abusive Dating Behaviors

2011-09-14T16:32:00.001-05:00

CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc has revealed the findings of their recent study of dating abuse among college students. The results? Dating violence and abuse is more prevalent on college campuses than previously believed.

The survey, “Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” was conducted by Knowledge Networks to address the lack of data on dating violence and abuse among college students. Knowledge Networks interviewed 508 college students including 330 women and 178 men for the study.

According to the findings, a significant number of college women are victims of dating violence.

43% of dating college women report experiencing abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, tech, verbal or controlling abuse.

Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women say they have been in an abusive dating relationship.

More than half (57%) of college students who report experiencing dating violence said it occurred in college.

The results also show that college students generally do not know how to help their friends, or themselves, get out of abusive relationships.

58% of college students say they don’t know how to help someone who is a victim of dating abuse.

38% of college students say they don’t know how to get help for themselves if they were a victim of dating violence.

While many of the controlling behaviors overlap between high school and college students, other behaviors are specific to college students. For example, 11% of respondents were prevented from going to study groups, 8% were told whether to live on or off campus and 7% were told exactly which classes to take.

Our friends at Love Is Respect and Break the Cycle have joined together to college students - and those who care about them - the tools needed to identify college dating abuse and address it.

On the website of Love Is Respect – the National Dating Abuse Helpline they’ve added a brand new section to arm students with knowledge. You can locate it at http://www.loveisrespect.org/LC_study_pdfs/SafetyPlan_College_Students.pdf

College students - you can download the Liz Claiborne Inc. study, plan your safety, find info for helping a friend and brainstorm ideas to end violence at your school. We encourage you to download and spread these documents around your campus.

Teachers and parents — are you looking for a way to teach dating abuse info to your college students? The Love Is Not Abuse college curriculum is available online, free at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum.

Still have questions? You can call Love Is Respect – National Dating Abuse Helpline anytime at 1-866-331-9474.

It's Time to Talk: (un)Healthy Relationships. (un)Recognized.

2011-09-12T07:00:00.013-05:00

On Tuesday, October 4, 2011, the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, Radio Bloomington and other community organizations throughout Central Illinois are co-sponsoring "It's Time to Talk Day" to bring awareness to the important issue of domestic violence. This year's theme is: "It's Time to Talk: (un)Healthy Relationships. (un)Recognized."

Events focus on the truth that anyone of any background can find herself or himself in an (un)healthy relationship and it is important that we recognize what an (un)healthy relationship looks like. Statistics show that domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and elder abuse occur in every demographic.

Local CAEPV members and community partners will participate in "It's Time to Talk Day" in the following ways:

· Local governments, universities, colleges and workplaces will issue proclamations of "It's Time to Talk Day" and encourage citizens to take a moment to talk about domestic violence.

· A news conference to announce "It's Time to Talk Day" will be held at 12:00 Noon October 4 at Second Presbyterian Church in Downtown Bloomington, Illinois.

· The 11th Judicial Circuit Family Violence Coordinating Council presents "It's Time to Talk: Compassion Fatigue. (un)Recognized." at Second Presbyterian Church in Downtown Bloomington.

· The Town of Normal is asking employees and citizens to be a part of the second annual "Purple Tie Initiative" and wear a purple tie (or any item of purple clothing) to support victims and survivors of domestic violence in our community and to raise awareness that domestic violence is "everybody's business."

· Soroptimist of Bloomington-Normal is hosting a Lunch & Learn training for parents at Lancaster's Fine Dining in Downtown Bloomington.

· Verizon Wireless Midwest Region and community partners are holding a HopeLine cell phone drive throughout Bloomington-Normal to collect no longer used cell phones, batteries and accessories. The donations will be used to support victims of domestic violence.

Other "It's Time to Talk Day" projects and events include:

· Distributing educational materials in workplaces

· Distributing domestic violence awareness brochures to clients

· Holding seminars for employees

· Providing information to employees via the Internet and Intranet

· Writing informational articles for employee newsletters

· Working with local schools to share the message about safety and wellness

· Providing Public Service Announcements and radio interviews on Radio Bloomington stations and television interviews on WMBD-TV31 “LIVING WELL” with Meg Marshall

· AND MORE!

For more information, visit http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=69 or CAEPV’s Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CorporateAlliancetoEndPartnerViolence .

For information on Liz Claiborne’s National “It’s Time to Talk Day” taking place December 8, 2011, visit the http://loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/annualevent .

2011-09-09T06:08:00.000-05:00

In Remembrance and in Hope For Peace in Our Homes and Our World:

September 11, 2001 - September 11, 2011

Monsters in the Closet

2011-09-01T16:13:00.001-05:00

Our CAEPV partners at The Verizon Foundation have created a short video with support from National Domestic Violence Hotline. This animated video - “MONSTERS” - sheds light on the effects of domestic violence in the home, through the innocent eyes of a child.

Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence each year. And as the video notes, girls who witness abuse are more likely to be abused later in life, and boys are twice as likely to abuse their own partners – “because that’s the world they know.”

The Verizon Foundation believes that to end this devastating cycle of violence, we must motivate silent bystanders to take action. People need to understand that when they look the other way, they condone this deplorable behavior. They believe that this provocative video will help accomplish this life-saving goal.

Share the MONSTERS video with your network of friends, family, neighbors and colleagues. It’s a simple action that may have a huge impact. MONSTERS will launch publicly on September 7^th.

The video can be previewed at: http://t.co/Dn3pCAq

Remember -- if you or someone you know needs help, get free advice 24x7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-779-7233) or http://www.thehotline.org/. You don't have to give your name.

Look Good In All You Do?

2011-08-30T10:27:00.002-05:00

I could not believe my eyes. I could not believe the print ad.

"Look good in all you do."

It is for a salon in Canada. Sounds ok, right?

However, the woman in the print ad is seated on a couch and clearly a victim of domestic violence. The ad intimates "Domestic violence is ok...as long as your hair looks good."

Did the salon owner make a mistake? No.

She says she'd do it again. You can read about it here: http://www.torontosun.com/2011/08/29/salon-defends-controversial-ads. You can also see the print ad. I did not want to post the image on the blog.

Clearly this salon owner does not think she has any clients who are victims of domestic violence -- or any employees. Because if she did, she would take it much more seriously.

I am guessing she hasn't taken advantage of the training and resources offered through the "Cut It Out" program that teach salon professionals how to recognize the signs of abuse in their clients and how to direct them to resources in the community.

I am mad. I am sad. I am thinking of the people she sees everyday who wear the scars of domestic violence on the inside and she does not realize that when she helps them "look good in all they do" -- she could also be helping them in so many other ways.

"Dorothy" eloquently explains (much better than I ever could) why "Look Good In All You Do" is a really bad idea: http://www.edmontonsun.com/2011/08/31/domestic-abuse-ad-stirs-dark-memories.

There are a lot of things in life to use to make an ironic statement. Or to take lightly.

This just isn't one of them.

UPDATE: Since I wrote this post this morning, the salon owner has apologized. She's also indicated that if someone comes into the salon with the print ad, she'll make a donation to a local domestic violence shelter. So perhaps some good - and some good conversation - has come of this. (You can read the update here: http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110830/edm_salon_110830/20110830/?hub=EdmontonHome)

NO MORE Project - Working Together to End Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

2011-08-24T12:35:00.002-05:00

Over the past year and a half, representatives from several domestic violence and sexual assault organizations have been coming together with a small group of funders and private sector volunteers to work on an exciting new effort called The NO MORE Project. The NO MORE Project is about creating a new, over-arching visual symbol to help raise public awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault. Like the red AIDS ribbon or the peace sign, we hope this symbol will help augment and connect the efforts of domestic violence and sexual assault organizations large and small, supplementing rather than replacing our existing logos and brands. We also hope it will be widely adopted by members of the public, to express their solidarity with us on these issues.

We hope those in the field will be able to join us as on a national Web conference to preview The NO MORE Project:

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2011
1pm Eastern Time (10am Pacific, 11am Mountain, 12pm Central)
Click http://tinyurl.com/3owfptd to register

REPEATED - WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2011
4pm Eastern Time (1pm Pacific, 2pm Mountain, 3pm Central)
Click http://tinyurl.com/4543s6r to register

Space is limited. If the session you want to attend is full, please join the waiting list: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NOMORE

Project Presenters will include:

Sue Else, National Network to End Domestic Violence

Monika Johnson Hostler, National Alliance to End Sexual Assault

Darlene Johnson, Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice

Rita Smith, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Delilah Rumberg, Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape

Jane Randel, Liz Claiborne

We've been fortunate to have the pro bono input of some of America's leading creative thinkers, including the executive editor of PEOPLE magazine, the former president of Oprah Winfrey's television network, the founder of Women & Co at CitiGroup, the former president of the (RED) campaign, and an ad executive who helped create the "Priceless" campaign for MasterCard. One of the nation's leading branding agencies (Sterling Brands) stepped forward with pro bono creative. Together, we have developed a symbol, created a verbal communication plan, and conducted focus groups and quantitative research. We will be sharing all of the exciting findings at the Web conference!

We have broad representation from across the domestic violence and sexual assault fields. The Steering and Executive Committees for the project include (in alphabetical order): A Call to Men, Allstate Foundation, Avon Foundation, Blue Shield of California Foundation, Casa de Esperanza, California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, Futures Without Violence, Joyful Heart Foundation, Liz Claiborne Foundation, Men Can Stop Rape, National Alliance to End Sexual Assault, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Network to End Domestic Violence, Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape, Safe Horizon, Verizon Foundation, and the Office on Violence Against Women at the U.S. Department of Justice.

Let's work together to end domestic violence and sexual assault.

Registration Now Open: Domestic Violence and the Workplace - Three Case Studies in Practice

2011-08-24T08:48:00.005-05:00

EMPLOYERS - YOU ARE INVITED TO:

"Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Three Case Studies in Practice" -- an educational opportunity provided through the CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series.

WHEN:

Friday, September 23, 2011
2:00 PM- 3:30 PM ET
1:00 PM- 2:30 PM CT
11:00 AM- 12:30 PM PT

WHY:

A recent survey of CEOs found that most believe domestic violence to be a serious issue, yet 71% did not believe it is a problem in their company. The reality is that approximately 21% of full-time working adults report being a victim of domestic violence.

This webinar will examine current practices of employers addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue from three unique perspectives.

HOSTS:

M. Alan Gardner, Vice President, Human Resources, Verizon Wireless
Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

PRESENTERS:

Jane Randel, Senior Vice President, Corporate Communications & Brand Services, Liz Claiborne Inc.
Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, Vice President, Health and Wellness, Prudential
Dr. Brigid McCaw, Medical Director, KP NCal Family Violence Prevention Program, Kaiser Permanente

RSVP:

Registration for this webinar closed on September 21, 2011. A recording of the webinar will be available in the days following the event.

To access the recorded webinar and webinar materials, visit http://www.caepv.org/about/program_detail.php?refID=71

The CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series is made possible by a grant from HopeLine® from Verizon.

Are You Safe At Home?

2011-08-23T14:21:00.001-05:00

“Are you safe at home? “

The nurse asked me this question recently on my very first visit to the emergency room in my life. I won’t get into the reasons for the visit, but while I was unhappy to be in the ER, I was really happy to be asked that question.

“Yes,” I said “I am safe at home. And thank you so much for asking.”

The nurse and I discussed this screening tool and the importance of asking. She told me how sometimes people seem surprised when she asks…and sometimes they wait until they are in another room getting an x-ray or another test to break down and talk about how perhaps they are not so safe at home.

Then she says there are people like me who are so happy to be asked.

We talked about whether or not it is hard to ask. She said it wasn’t hard for her, because she asks everyone. She just explains to anyone who questions it that it is a screening question that everyone gets.

She said “You know, you can’t just tell by looking at someone if that person is being abused. So you have to ask.”

I love that nurse.

I love her attitude. And I love that she did not hesitate to ask me – even though she knew what I do for a job (and didn’t decide I “couldn’t’” be a victim) and didn’t hesitate because my husband works for her healthcare system (and he “wouldn’t” do a thing like that).

She asked. She asks everyone.

The Department of Health and Human Services has recently released new guidelines developed by the independent Institute of Medicine, the new guidelines require new health insurance plans to cover women’s preventive services such as domestic violence screening without charging a co-payment, co-insurance or a deductible. You can read more here: http://www.hhs.gov/news/press/2011pres/08/20110801b.html

I hope everyone who starts to screen under the new guidelines does the same great job that my nurse did.

Because there is no screening tool that can replace understanding that domestic violence can – and does – happen to people just like you and me.

I don’t want to return to the emergency room anytime soon, but if I do, I’ll be thrilled to be screened for domestic violence again. No matter what I do for a living or who I am married to.

Because it could happen to me, too.

Make Domestic Violence "Your Business"

2011-08-20T12:25:00.002-05:00

Do you wonder how domestic violence comes into the workplace? It can come into the workplace in a lot of ways...through an employee coming in worried about abuse at home, or being absent, or ill, or physically injured,or less productive, or in the case of an abuser, using work time to threaten or harass a partner.

Or...it can come in like this: http://www.pjstar.com/news/x386669662/Two-women-stabbed-at-TitleMax-on-University-Street-on-Friday.

This is an incredibly sad and violent example. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families and their co-workers. (UPDATE: The co-worker of Traci Allen -- Mary Sue Roberts, 27 -- passed away on August 20, 2011. We are so sorry to have to note this.)

When I read this story I thought about all the things that could perhaps have been done to keep this employee and this workplace safe.

There are no guarantees, of course, but the kinds of things we work with CAEPV members to build into their workplace practices are designed to help prevent these kinds of heartbreaking events.

Things like creating plans for abuser showing up at the workplace. Or the workplace on the order of protection, working with local law enforcement, moving the employee in danger to another workplace location, changing work hours, getting the abused employee to resources to assist her/him....the list goes on and on.

It is timely that open registration begins August 24 for our September 23 webinar "Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Three Case Studies in Practice."

That means any employer can register for our free webinar as of August 24 - courtesy of a grant from HopeLine from Verizon. If you are an employer who is interested, please send an email to caepv@caepv.org.

We hope employers will take advantage. So that perhaps there will be fewer and fewer incidents like what happened at the Title Max on Friday in Peoria, Illinois.

We want a day when all employers have the tools to make domestic violence "their business."

Please join us.

Why Won't My Employee ......Press Charges?

2011-08-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

"Why won't my employee...just leave?"

"Why won't my employee...press charges?"

These are a couple questions I hear sometimes when I talk to employers about domestic violence and its impact on the workplace.

And while I cannot answer those questions for a person who is in the middle of domestic violence (because I am not that person) - I do try to help employers understand that when it comes to leaving, it can be dangerous, because that is when most homicides related to domestic violence occur - when a person is in the midst of leaving or has left the relationship.

That is why at CAEPV and with our member companies, we focus on SAFETY of the employee who is a victim of domestic violence and SAFETY of the workplace and other employees.

And what about pressing charges? While I cannot speak for any particular individual, I think some new research from the Ohio State University might provide some interesting insight.

“The existing belief is that victims recant because the perpetrator threatens her with more violence. But our results suggest something very different,” said Amy Bonomi, lead author of the study and associate professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University.

“Perpetrators are not threatening the victim, but are using more sophisticated emotional appeals designed to minimize their actions and gain the sympathy of the victim. That should change how we work with victims.”

The study appears online in the journal Social Science & Medicine and will appear in a future print edition. To read more about the study, click here.

What do you think of this study? Are you surprised about the tactics used?

It is my hope that perhaps for many who've asked the question "Why doesn't that person press charges?" they have a better understanding of why. And for those of us trying to help, we better understand how we best can.

For information for addressing domestic violence and its impact on the workplace, please visit our website at www.caepv.org.

Liz Claiborne Releases "Love Is Not Abuse" App for iPhone

2011-08-04T13:11:00.001-05:00

CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne’s Love is Not Abuse program has come out with a new “Love Is Not Abuse” iPhone application. It allows parents to experience firsthand digitally abusive behaviors in teen relationships.

The new iPhone app is designed to teach parents - in a very real way - about the dangers of teen dating abuse and provides a dramatic demonstration of how technology can be used to commit abuse. Over the course of the experience, text messages, emails and phone calls are received real-time, mimicking the controlling, abusive behaviors teens might face in their relationships.

The impact is immediate and important: empowering parents to talk to their kids.

The app also includes valuable information for parents: facts on dating abuse, warning signs, tips on how to talk to teens, and immediate, concrete steps to take if they suspect their child is involved in an abusive relationship.

It also includes a PSA from Tim Gunn and Judge Jeanine Pirro.

You can view the “Love Is Not Abuse” iPhone App trailer at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-MueVK0L8k.

Download the app -- free of charge -- at the iTunes App Store (search word “LINA”).

(We checked it out here at CAEPV and it is very powerful. The simulator is a very realistic representation of digital abuse behavior.)

CAEPV Presents HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series

2011-07-28T14:51:00.000-05:00

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8 million days of paid work a year, the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs, and the cost of domestic violence to the U.S. economy is more than $8.3 billion. A national telephone survey by CAEPV found that 21 percent of full-time employed adults were victims of domestic violence and 64 percent of them indicated their work performance was significantly impacted.

Domestic violence does not stop at the door when employees go to work. The CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar Series is designed to help increase employer awareness of domestic violence as a workplace issue and offer strategies for employers to recognize and respond to it.

Mark your calendar for our first CAEPV HopeLine® from Verizon Webinar: “Domestic Violence and the Workplace - Three Case Studies in Practice” taking place September 23, 2011. This webinar will examine current practices of employers addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue from three unique perspectives. Presenters include representatives from Liz Claiborne Inc., Kaiser Permanente, and Prudential.

The webinar is FREE – but CAEPV members will receive priority registration. Look for details coming soon!

What is the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence?

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is a leading force in the fight against intimate partner violence and its effects on the workplace. It is the only national organization of its kind founded by business leaders and focused on the workplace. Since 1995, the Alliance has brought together dozens of progressive companies who exchange information, collaborate on projects, and use their influence to instigate change.

The Alliance offers extensive research, policy knowledge and issue expertise to the business community, including training, program guidance, and crisis consultation – with programs designed to make the workplace safe and to prevent intimate partner violence from impacting the workplace. CAEPV has member and associate organizations reaching employees across the US and around the world. For more information, visit caepv.org/about.

What is HopeLine®?

HopeLine® from Verizon puts the nation’s most reliable network to work in the community by turning no-longer used cell phones into support for domestic violence victims and survivors. Learn more.

For more information, contact caepv@caepv.org.

Employing Survivors of Domestic Violence - Ending the Cycle

2011-07-25T08:58:00.001-05:00

In this blog I usually focus on how domestic violence impacts the workplace and how employers can respond to keep employees and the workplace safe.

But what if work itself is a protective factor for survivors of domestic violence and their children?

Recent research indicates it may well be.

Work is among the protective factors that foster resilience and increase the likelihood that the cycle of violence will end for women who, as children, were exposed to their mothers’ battering.

Dr. Kim Anderson, associate professor in the MU School of Social Work, found that women are less likely to suffer from PTSD if they are more resilient, or better able to overcome adversity.

Anderson found that resiliency was enhanced if mothers were employed full-time — that is, gainful employment has a positive influence on their children’s recovery from witnessing domestic violence.

“Mothers who work full-time, even in adverse situations, create economic stability and model a strong work ethic, independence and competence,” Anderson said.

“This shows the importance of the bond between mothers and children and the importance of positive adult role models in the lives of children who have experienced abuse.”

Researchers discovered the chance of PTSD in adulthood is increased if a child had witnessed the abuse of their mother; among children whose mothers experienced mental problems; and in children who witnessed police involvement in violent incidents. In particular, children of mothers who had mental health problems were more likely to develop PTSD later in life, as were children who witnessed the arrest of family members during violent incidents.

“The mental health status of mothers affects how they recover from abuse and their parenting style,” Anderson said. “Children whose mothers do not experience mental health problems are less likely to have mental health problems of their own.”

Anderson says recent financial cuts in domestic violence services and advocacy programs have made it difficult to provide abused women with the resources they need to recover from violent incidents. She recommends advanced job training and opportunities for higher education to help abused women attain sustainable employment.

“Most of the time, the immediate goal is to find women work rather than help them acquire skills that fit their interests,” Anderson said. “Those jobs are often low-paying and don’t provide the economic sustainability that going back to school and getting a higher education would.” (Source: University of Missouri)
So employing survivors of domestic violence does more than provide them a way up and out -- it may very well end the cycle of violence in the lives of their children.

Thank you to the employers who are members of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) and the many other employers committed to making domestic violence "their business" and by doing so keep their workplaces safe, keep their employees safe and productive....and perhaps help end the cycle for the next generation.

You certain can "do well by doing good."

(For resources to address domestic violence as a workplace issue, visit our website at www.caepv.org)

When Does Abuse Start?

2011-07-15T11:24:00.000-05:00

I recently had someone ask me if abuse starts the first time a person gets hit.

I appreciated the person asking me that question, and I also thought it might be good to highlight some of the warning signs of abusive relationships. It is also important to point out that relationships can be abusive and a person can never get hit at all.

So what IS domestic violence? Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in a relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

This quiz "Am I Being Abused?" is from the website of the National Domestic Violence Hotline - which is full of great information and resources.

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
Make all of the decisions?
Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
Force you to try and drop charges?
Threaten to commit suicide?
Threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.

For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224. You can also visit their website at www.thehotline.org.

And remember - no question is silly or "not worth asking" when it comes to healthy and unhealthy relationships....if you wonder, please ask someone you trust.

It's Only Puppy Love...Or Is It?

2011-07-07T15:08:00.002-05:00

“You’ll get over it…after all, it’s only puppy love.”

I can remember an adult saying that to me when my high school-to-college boyfriend and I broke up on Valentine’s Day my freshman year of college.

It sure didn’t feel like puppy love to me. But we both got over it.

Some young people don’t get over break ups…they don’t think they can live without their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Apparently this is what happened to a young lady with a full life ahead of her named Lauren Astley. Allegedly her ex-boyfriend, Nathaniel Fujita, thought he could not live without her and killed her. You can read more about the murder here.

My heart breaks for the family of Lauren Atley.

Did you know the most dangerous time for victims of domestic violence is when they are leaving or having left a relationship? In cases where a person is murdered in such a relationship, 75% of the time it is when they are leaving or have left their abusive partner.

So – before you tell your daughter or son “it is only puppy love” please consider this:

In a Liz Claiborne Survey released in March 2006, half (50%) of the 1,004 teens surveyed reported they’ve been in a dating relationship and nearly a third (32%) said they’ve been in a serious relationship. This same survey found that:

· One in four teens (24%) reported feeling pressure to date; and 14% said they would do almost anything to keep a boyfriend or girlfriend.

· In the same survey, 20% of teenagers who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.

· A significant number of teens (14%) said they have been threatened with physical harm—either to them or self-inflicted by their partner—to avoid a breakup.

· One out of 10 of these teens have been threatened with the spread of rumors by their partner as a means of control.

· A shocking 7% said someone in a relationship has either threatened to kill them or commit suicide in an attempt to stay together.

How do you know if you should worry?

A common characteristic of unhealthy and abusive relationships is the control that the abusive partner seeks to maintain in the relationship. This includes telling someone what to wear, where they can go, who they can hang out with, calling them names, humiliating them in front of others.

Over time, the isolation from a person’s social network increases, as the abuser insists on spending time "just the two of us," and threatens to leave or cause harm if things do not go the way they want, "You must not love me." Creating this isolation and dissolution of one's social supports (loss of friends, disconnectedness from family) are hallmarks of controlling behaviors.

In addition, abusers often monitor cell phones and emails, and for example, may threaten harm if the response to a text message is not instant. Parents are rarely aware of such controlling tactics as these occur insidiously over time, and an adolescent may themselves not recognize the controlling, possessive behaviors as unhealthy. "They must love me because they just want to spend time with me."

While the following non-specific warning signs could indicate other concerning things such as depression or drug use, these should also raise a red flag for parents and adult caregivers about the possibility of an unhealthy relationship:

· no longer hanging out with his/her circle of friends

· wearing the same clothing

· distracted when spoken to

· constantly checking cell phone,

gets extremely upset when asked to turn phone off

· withdrawn, quieter than usual

· angry, irritable when asked how they are doing

· making excuses for their boyfriend/girlfriend

· showering immediately after getting home

· unexplained scratches or bruises

Advice?

Maybe the best advice for parents is to start talking about what constitutes a healthy, respectful relationship early on with your child.

Sharing the warning signs of teen dating abuse with your child and saying, "If you know someone who's experiencing something like this, let's talk about it, let's talk about how you can be a good friend and help them stay safe."

For great booklets on talking to your teens about dating relationships visit Liz Claiborne’s Love Is Not Abuse website at www.loveisnotabuse.com.

So, next time you are tempted to say "Oh, it is just puppy love, you'll get over it," maybe you'll say "Hey, let's talk about it." And that may lead to a really good talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

"It Can't Happen Here." (Until It Does)

2011-07-06T13:38:00.001-05:00

"Aside from your family, who do you spend the majority of your time with?"

If I asked you that question, many of you would probably say your co-workers. I know it is true here at CAEPV - we certainly spend a great deal of time together and know one another well.

Apparently Jermey "Billy" Davis and and Andre Johnson knew each other well, too. They worked together for years at LG & E. Mr. Johnson was Mr. Davis' supervisor.

"We're a family of employees, we really are," said LG&E spokesman Chip Keeling. "Everyone knows everyone that works in these areas, and they do a lot of things together outside the office, so this is a terrible tragedy."

What happened? Apparently the men had a dispute that lasted more than a year. And on July 5, Mr. Davis came into this "family of employees" and did the unthinkable - he killed Mr. Johnson and then killed himself.

You can read more on the story here. I am sure much more will develop as the investigators learn more and as the days move forward.

I am so sorry for all involved - and for all those who are devastasted at home and at work. Their lives will never be the same. My heart goes out to everyone.

I am not here to speculate on what LG & E could or should have done - or what they did right or wrong -- because I do not know that.

I do know this - whenever I am asked "What is the most dangerous position for any employer to be in regarding workplace violence?" My answer is this:

The most dangerous position for an employer to be in regarding workplace violence is the position that "It can't happen here."

Because as long as an employer takes that position....the workplace is vulnerable and is not considering steps to prevent a situation like what happened at LG & E.

Often employers think:

Workplace violence only happens at big companies.
I know everyone here, and no one here would do anything like that.
We screen employees before we hire, so we are safe.
We lock non-employees out, and they are the only people we have to worry about.
Workplace violence is a lot of hype.
Preventing workplace violence is expensive and we can't afford it.

Fortunately (and unfortunately) none of the above are true. Employers can do simple things like:

Making sure they have a policy to address workplace violence
Creating a culture of workplace safety and respect - from hiring through orientation, performance management, dismissal or employee exit
Addressing physical plant issues with an eye for safety
Training employees to notice and report safety concerns - including concerns about concerning behavior in co-workers
Management acting in a timely and respectful manner when concerns are reported
Providing resources for employees who need help
Never assuming they know "who" is or is not capable of workplace violence

I am amazed that employers who say they are "too small" to address workplace violence have plans for a possible terrorist attack. And while I hope they see neither, I would argue they are more likely to see an event of workplace violence.

But once an employer begins to think "Ok, workplace violence COULD happen here. So - how can we address it?" then the workplace begins to be in a position to possibly prevent a situation like the one at LG+E. Before it becomes explosive. Or heartbreaking. Or deadly.

For information or resources (including a sample policy), please visit our website at www.caepv.org.

Misconduct? I Don't Think So

2011-06-28T09:25:00.002-05:00

I live in a state where our last governor was just convicted on 17 of 20 counts of various crimes. Our governor previous to him is currently in prison for similar crimes.

But this item from our neighbors to the north caught my eye - it is regarding the Wisconsin Supreme Court and justices allegedly slapping and choking one another- you can read it here.

While I somehow cannot imagine Supreme Court Justices getting physical with one another - I know from doing this job, abuse and violence can happen to anyone...and anyone can be an offender.

What particularly caught my attention was that "the matter was called to the attention of the Wisconsin Judicial Commission, which investigates allegations of misconduct involving judges."

While that may certainly be the role of the Wisconsin Judicial Commission to investigate allegations of "judicial misconduct"....if what is alleged is true, something else is going on here.

It is workplace violence.

It actually "Type 3" Workplace Violence - where the perpetrator(s) are co-workers.

Did you know that according to the most recent Bureau of Justice Statistics report regarding workplace violence* about a quarter (26%) of workplace violence against males and about a third against females were committed by someone with whom the victim had a work relationship? Among the work relationships examined, coworkers were the most likely to attack persons in the workplace. Current or former coworkers committed 16% of workplace violence against males and about 14% against females.

When the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) works with employers, one of the first steps in the process is helping them create a policy regarding workplace violence. A policy that makes it clear that no one - employees, managers, vendors, etc - can use workplace time and resources to threaten, abuse or harm anyone.

(I wonder if the Wisconsin State Supreme Court has such a policy? If not, we'd be happy to provide them some samples.)

It should not matter who you are, or what you do - if these people acted this way on the street, or in another place of business, they certainly could have been arrested.

For help with workplace violence policy samples or any other resources, please visit our website at www.caepv.org.

(Update: Apparently we are not the only people who recognize this as workplace violence. Read this article from the Wisconsin State Journal.)

*March 2011, U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Special Report,Workplace Violence 1999- 2009, NCJ 233231

"If I Don't Come to Work, Call the Police. He Said He's Going to Kill Me."

2011-06-20T17:00:00.001-05:00

"If I don't come to work, call the police. He's said he's going to kill me."

That's what Trisha Sadler told her co-workers at the bank where she worked. And sadly, on June 17, that is what they had to do. They had to call the police because they had not seen her for two days.

You can read the heartbreaking story here.

Now those co-workers have lost a friend, and her family has lost a daughter and sister, and we've lost another precious person to domestic violence.

According to an arrest affidavit, friends said Trisha would come to work at the bank with bruises. She confided to them that Ward threw her around and choked her, according to the arrest affidavit, and they were fighting more and more. Neighbors called police when the shouting got too loud.

Two weeks before her death, Sadler gave her co-worker a warning: If I don't come to work, call the police. He's said he's going to kill me, the affidavit said.

If you are a person who does not think the workplace is impacted by the "private issue" of domestic violence, perhaps the life of Trisha Sadler and those who love her and worked with her and were here family and now have to live without her will make you think again.

If you are wondering what an employer can do to address domestic violence through the workplace, please visit our website at www.caepv.org.

While there is no guarantee that a workplace program to address domestic violence will keep a tragedy like the one that happened to Ms. Sadler from occurring, it is our hope that such programs will change - and perhaps save - some lives.

And isn't it worth that?

June Is Internet Safety Month - Tools for Parents

2011-06-20T12:11:00.001-05:00

June is Internet Safety Month - and CAEPV Member Verizon has some great resources for parents.

Verizon teamed up with leading online safety experts to bring parents and anyone who cares about the kids in their lives a series of videos and blogs about cyberbullying.

In this video, “Is your child being cyberbullied?,” experts highlight practical steps to take if you discover that your child is being cyberbullied or harassed.

Here are some key take-aways:

Report the abuse to the website that it occurred on by using the “Report Abuse” button or by sending an email.
Save and print evidence of the bullying.
Be careful about cutting off your child’s access to technology. You don’t want to make them feel like they are being punished for telling you about the problem.
Think before you immediately contact the bully’s parents, as you might complicate the situation for you and your child.
Contact the school to find out how they can help. Even if they can’t intervene in the cyber bullying scenario, they can help by supporting your child when he or she is on campus..
Encourage your child to “Take a break” from the online interaction rather than retaliating immediately.

This video, “When does 'rude' cross the line, online?” highlights some of the legal aspects of cyber bullying, and potential ramifications when behavior online goes too far. Watch the video below to learn more.

Here are some key take-aways:

• Willful and repeated harm or a one-time violent threat constitutes cyber bullying.
• The consequences of posting or forwarding nude or semi-nude photos may include a child pornography charge.
• Police suggest the best course of action if a child receives one of these photos is to delete it immediately and tell an adult.
• Adults need to set expectations and social rules for when it’s okay to record, post or tag photos and videos online.

For more resources, visit "Articles for Parents" on the Verizon site.

Remember - it doesn't have to be June to care about internet safety for your kids - or for yourself. This is a great resource anytime.

And as with any conversations about healthy versus unhealthy relationships that take place with your children, the best conversations about internet safety start when they are young, and take place often.

Keep those lines of communication open. Especially the old-fashioned kinds of communication. You know....talking. :-)

You Don't Want to Be A Headline....At Least Not Like This

2011-06-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

If you are a business, you want to be in the headlines for a good reason...a great reason.

You don't want to be in the headlines like this: Pfizer Sued Over Domestic Violence Leave.

You can read the story linked above - but the case is basically this: a victim of domestic violence in Washington State is saying her employer did not follow the law - or even inform her of the law (as required in her state) regarding her situation.

And this is a big employer - that should know the law. And the story itself it just heartbreaking and frightening.

I don't know the details, I don't know exactly what happened - I only know what I am reading in the story.

I also know this - any employer with a clear understanding of the laws of the state, and a clear policy and program to address domestic violence, and the workplace culture that trains managers to understand how to address it would probably not be in this position.

When employers join the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) we work with them on the policies, programs and infrastructure to help with creating a workplace culture where 1) employees feel safe coming forward and 2) managers know the right thing to do.

It would appear - if this case is exactly as it is written - that the manager did not know the right thing to do.

That is so sad for so many reasons....not only because the victim did not feel safe, but because the entire workplace was compromised. And now there is a lawsuit.

I know that often legal counsel will indicate their concern that if "too many things are written down" they may be liable for what they write..or what they do to help a victim of domestic violence. But as the general counsel for one of our CAEPV member companies says "Not only is it the right thing to do, it is the smart thing to do. I've never seen anyone get sued for a good faith effort to protect victims of domestic violence and a good faith effort to keep them and their workplaces safe. But I have seen employers sued for doing nothing, or something negligent."

And I have to say I agree. I am not a lawyer, but I do follow these things pretty closely, and while I have seen a LOT of lawsuits like the one above...I've never seen anyone sued who was trying to help victims of domestic violence at the workplace through a good policy and program.

So - don't be a headline. Have enlightened self-interest.

A great place to start is with the steps we recommend which you can find right here. You can also visit our website at www.caepv.org.

And if you join us, you can be a headline for a great reason -- making domestic violence "Everybody's Business."

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DOES SPILL INTO THE WORKPLACE, RIGHT?

2011-06-01T14:33:00.003-05:00

Domestic violence does spill into the workplace, right?

That’s what the gentleman was asking. I assumed by his tone, he was asking on behalf of an employee who had been wrongly dismissed.

I was wrong.

He was asking on behalf of an employer who had dismissed an employee after the victim of abuse had not “fulfilled a personal safety plan” in the manner the employer asked. So the victim was fired. He indicated they thought they had a pretty good case for dismissing the employee.

I asked “Does the employer have a workplace violence policy or procedures that were followed?”

I don’t know.

I asked “What did the employer do to keep the employee safe? What would the employer have done if it was a customer bothering the employee? Or what if had been a co-worker threatening the employee?”

I don’t know.

“What was involved in this personal safety plan the employee was supposed to create and follow?”

I don’t know.

“Was the employer listed on an order of protection?”

I don’t know.

“Was the employee provided community resources to help with this safety planning?”

I don’t know.

“So the victim was just supposed to be personally responsible for being safe at work when there was a known potential for workplace violence?”

I don’t know.

I told him that if the employer had been located in a different state or municipality, firing this employee because of the domestic violence situation would have been potentially illegal.

I also explained that while it might seem expedient, it was not in the employer’s enlightened self-interest to simply “remove the target.”

This was not going to keep the rest of the workforce safe in the long run. What would happen in the abuser showed up and didn’t believe that the former employee no longer worked there?

The employer did not seem to have a plan for handling workplace violence in general. I explained that in the case of this kind of workplace violence (domestic violence impacting the workplace) the employer had created a situation where it was likely no one else who was dealing with domestic violence was going to come forward to share their situation -- especially if they had an abuser threatening to come to the workplace. Wouldn’t they be afraid to share that based on what happened to this employee? (Not to mention the fact that the employer was no more prepared to deal with domestic violence impacting the workplace now than they were before this employee was dismissed.)

I explained it made more sense to have a policy and plan for dealing with domestic violence from the employer perspective BECAUSE it impacts the workplace. To plan from the employer perspective to keep employees safe. Rather than expecting that from the employee. Not just for domestic violence impacting the workplace…but any kind of workplace violence.

He asked if the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) helps employers develop policies and programs to address domestic violence as a workplace issue. I said that is exactly what we do – and we know how to help employers keep their employees and workplaces safe and productive.

He was a really nice guy. He really didn’t know that there were better ways to handle domestic violence as a workplace issue. He didn’t realize that other employers have found better ways to do it. And I think he really understood that perhaps the employer had not done the best thing. For anyone.

I think he understood what I was saying.

But I don’t know.

Verizon Wireless Supports Joplin, MO Through Mobile Giving

2011-05-25T11:17:00.000-05:00

I know there are lots of ways to help in this time of tragedy in Joplin and elsewhere - here's one:

Verizon Wireless has quickly implemented a mobile giving program for customers looking for a simple way to contribute to relief and recovery efforts following the devastation in Joplin, Mo. Customers can use their mobile phones to make $10 donations to a variety of non-profit organizations responding to the tornado and the needs of local citizens in the aftermath – including American Red Cross Relief and United Way - Heart of Missouri.

Customers can choose from five different nonprofit organizations and make $10 donations by sending a text message. Donating is easy – customers simply text the specific word to the organization's designated short code:

· American Red Cross Relief: Text "REDCROSS" to 90999

· Convoy of Hope: Text "CONVOY" to 50555

· Salvation Army: Text "JOPLIN" to 80888

· United Way - Heart of Missouri: Text "JOPLIN" to 864833

· World Vision, Inc.: Text "TORNADO" to 20222

Verizon Wireless always waives text-messaging fees for disaster relief, so text messages are free when used to make donations to any of these organizations, and 100 percent of each $10 donation goes to the relief organization.

For Verizon Wireless customers who pay monthly bills, the $10 donations will appear on the next regular monthly bill. For customers using the company's prepaid services, the $10 donation will be taken from customers' prepaid balance.

The Apology Olympics

2011-05-18T10:42:00.003-05:00

"If there were an apology Olympics, women would beat the pants off men. According to recent research, including a study at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, a clear-cut gender gap emerges when measuring just how often men and women apologize as well as the reasons behind it. While many women say 'sorry' as automatically as they say hello and goodbye, they also apologize for something as simple as bumping into someone's chair. Men, in contrast, see no reason to apologize for trivial transgressions like a chair bump."

I've been intrigued by this article by Merci Miglino ever since I first read it.

It is called "Apologizing -- Again?" and discusses how women are much more likely to apologize than men...and how apologizing can be dis-empowering and potentially part of the cycle of domestic violence.

Why domestic violence? Because of the idea that domestic violence victims apologize "for anything and everything." And of course that is not healthy.

But I want to point something else out.

Abusers apologize too. They say things like:

"I'm sorry...it won't happen again."

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm sorry...if you didn't make me so crazy, it wouldn't have happened."

That isn't healthy either.

Personally, I think apologizing from a place of strength is a sign of....strength. Not weakness. My husband would tell you that while I might say "I'm sorry" for bumping someone in a store...it is REALLY hard for me to say "I'm sorry" when something is real. It is difficult for me to admit that I caused harm or hurt to him. I feel like the Fonz trying to say "I was wrong." After almost 19 years of marriage it is still hard to get the words out.

I am not sure how healthy it is to tell anyone - women or men - that it is in "our wiring" to apologize...and that somehow that is not ok.

I think it is better to teach our children (and ourselves) how to say "I was wrong" - and mean it.

What do you think?

Domestic Violence and the Workplace: Protecting Your Employees and Your Bottom Line in Six Steps

2011-05-11T08:21:00.000-05:00

By Kim Wells, Executive Director, Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

What do your employees bring through the door when they walk into work?

In a national survey of full-time employed adults by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) 21% indicated they were victims of domestic violence – and 64% percent indicated their ability to work was significantly impacted.

According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence. The CDC also reports that the cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).

So – what can employers do to proactively keep their workplaces productive and safe?

Step 1: Develop a domestic violence and the workplace policy and program

· Involve relevant stakeholders such as senior management, human resources, security, legal, communications, media relations, employee assistance programs (EAPs), medical, health or safety programs. This group becomes the “multi-disciplinary domestic violence response team” which is key to the process.

· Ensure EAP providers are trained in domestic violence identification and response, and are able to appropriately refer to domestic violence services.

· Seek expertise externally from domestic violence specialists.

· Ensure that senior management sign off on this process and champion the outcomes.

Step 2: Develop a policy addressing domestic violence containing:

· A clear definition of domestic violence, with examples/case histories of how this affects the workplace. Include a statement that domestic violence is unacceptable at home and in the workplace.

· A clear statement that no violence or threats of violence should take place on workplace grounds or while an employee is on duty or acting in the interests of the employer. Include potential consequences of such actions. (Perpetrators of domestic violence may use workplace resources such as telephone, fax or email to threaten, harass or abuse their current or former partners. In addition to being a misuse of organizational resources, this behavior may be in breach of a current protection order or constitute a criminal offence, such as stalking.)

· A clear statement of the employer's commitment to addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue and examples of workplace accommodations and assistance available.

· A clear indication of where and how staff can access assistance regarding domestic violence and the workplace.

Step 3: Develop procedures for implementing the program, ensuring they include:

· Details of the first point of contact for employees needing support.

· The role of key personnel in liaison with domestic violence specialists.

· The security measures, plans and procedures provided in the workplace to protect against domestic violence.

· An assurance of an employee’s right to confidentiality and support when they disclose domestic violence.

· Guidance about how managers and employees should handle disclosures of domestic violence.

Step 4: Distribute the policy

· Produce a compact, easy to read version of the policy and provide to all staff.

· Include the policy on the workplace intranet and orientation materials.

· Ensure that operating units within the workplace vital to the success of the program are fully engaged and prepared before the policy and procedures are widely shared (two examples would be security and human resources.)

Step 5: Provide training

· Train managers to recognize signs of violence for potential victims and perpetrators. Local domestic violence service providers often can assist with this training at little or no cost.

· Because managers must be careful to address concerns in the context of employment (unless the employee self-discloses), managers should understand how to respond—to appropriately address changes in behavior that is affecting performance.

· Train managers to refer—how to access internal and external resources for an employee. Managers should not give personal advice or counseling- this type of help should be left to the experts.

· Employee education should include a basic understanding of domestic violence, possible warning signs, and how to respond sensitively and confidentially to an abused co-worker. As in the case of managers, co-workers are not counselors, but facilitators in helping co-workers seeking assistance.

Step 6: Build awareness through workplace communication

· Display public education materials about domestic violence in accessible areas such as lunch rooms, restrooms, and on the organization’s website.

· Provide details of where victims and abusers can get help locally or an anonymous help line.

· Organize regular awareness training and education in all levels of the organization about domestic violence.

· Incorporate information about awareness of domestic violence into employee orientation programs, handbooks, and intranet-based human resources information. For best effect, educational and awareness programs on domestic violence should be intertwined with other complimentary programs. Employee wellness fairs, workplace safety programs, town hall meetings, and family issues seminars are effective venues for sharing information about domestic violence.

State and municipal laws vary greatly with reference to domestic violence and workplace issues (unemployment insurance, non-discrimination laws, etc). Employers should work directly with their legal departments to develop policies and programs.

Employers who take on the challenge of addressing intimate partner violence as a workplace issue are true leaders. They are choosing enlightened self-interest in an effort to save lives—and change society.

You can find more information on these steps – including a sample policy -- at www.caepv.org in our Take Action/Starting a Workplace Program Section.

Glamour Launches "Tell Somebody" Relationship Violence Awareness Campaign In Honor of Yeardley Love

2011-05-03T09:28:00.002-05:00

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of UVA student Yeardley Love. (Note our blogpost about Yeardley Love's death and what to say to someone you care about here.)

To honor the one-year anniversary of her death, Glamour is encouraging women to talk about relationship violence—both to ask for help and to offer it without judgment. Glamour's Tell Somebody campaignis aimed at raising awareness about the secret that kills four women a day in the United States—relationship abuse. Over the course of an average year in twenty-first-century America, more than 1,400 women will be murdered by someone they've loved. Glamour asks: Why are women more likely to be killed by their boyfriends now than they were 35 years ago? And what can we do to reverse the trend?

In an exclusive Glamour/Harris Interactive representative, online survey* of 2,542 women ages 18 to 35—single, living with a partner and married—a full 29 percent said they'd been in an abusive relationship. Another 30 percent said they'd never been abused but then went on to acknowledge that, at some point, a partner had viciously hurt them: from verbal degradation to being strangled or threatened with a knife. View the top findings from the survey at http://glmr.me/jKUWxq.

The Tell Somebody campaign kicks off in Glamour's June issue with an exclusive interview with Vice President Joe Biden and Dr. Jill Biden. Also included in the feature are family photos of Yeardley Love that serve as a reminder that the women we hear about in the news are much more than just headlines. Many brave women came forward to tell their stories—and 62 percent said that having the support of a friend, family member or coworker helped them "get through the relationship safely."

The message here? Tell Somebody. Ther feature includes exactly what to say to a friend or loved one who may be in an abusive relationship.(Note our blogpost about Yeardley Love's death and what to say to someone you care about here.)

"The fact that abusive relationships have actually gotten more deadly for young women in the 21st century is not only confounding—it's maddening," says Cindi Leive, editor-in-chief of Glamour magazine. "Glamour wants to encourage all young women to start talking about this violence. Our message is simple: If you, or a friend, are in a dangerous relationship, Tell Somebody."

Young celebrities like Emma Stone and Ashley Greene, are also joining the campaign, coming together to create an awareness video highlighting shocking statistics and underlining the message of the campaign: If you or a friend is suffering, Tell Somebody. To see the video, along with a moving series of exclusive videos of survivors, go to http://www.glamour.com/tell-somebody/video/2011/05/tell-somebody-help-put-an-end-to-relationship-violence.

There is an easy way everyone can help: In 2010the National Domestic Violence Hotline received 281,787 calls, but due to a lack of resources, 83,027 of those calls went unanswered—that's more than 1,590 calls per week. We can change that. Glamour, the Avon Foundation for Women and the Avon Speak Out Against Domestic Violence program—an initiative that has donated more than $30 million globally to reduce domestic violence since 2004—are working to make sure that no call goes unanswered from now through October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. "Women need to have someone who will listen," says Katie Ray-Jones, director of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. "We know that for about 85 percent of our callers, it's their first time ever telling their story."

Glamour is asking people to make a $10 donation by texting TELLNOW to 85944. The Avon Foundation will match every dollar donated, up to $200,000. "It takes so much courage for a woman to pick up the phone and make that call," Vice President Joe Biden told Glamour. The least we can do is make sure someone is there for her.

Join Glamour's campaign to stop relationship violence by changing your Facebook status to—Relationship violence kills 4 women a DAY in the U.S. If you or someone you know is being abused, Tell Somebody. Make sure someone is always listening by texting TELLNOW to 85944. Your $10 donation will help keep the National Domestic Violence Hotline open.

To learn more about Tell Somebody, visit glamour.com/tell-somebody.

*Survey Methodology: This survey was conducted online within the United States between March 3 to 17, 2011 among 2,542 women (aged 18-35). Figures for age, race/ethnicity, education, region and household income were weighted where necessary to bring them into line with their actual proportions in the population. Go to http://www.Glamour.com/tell-somebody for the full methodology.

MARY KAY "TRUTH ABOUT ABUSE" NATIONAL SURVEY FINDS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RISES NATIONWIDE FOR THIRD YEAR WHILE ECONOMY STRUGGLES

2011-04-27T17:01:00.000-05:00

Domestic violence shelters throughout the United States report the economy continues to significantly affect women – with domestic violence increasing for the third straight year and government cutbacks decreasing shelters’ ability to help survivors. In addition to domestic violence incidents growing and funding sources diminishing, the abuse is reportedly more severe, victims are struggling to find jobs and shelters expect the situation will only get worse in light of the economy – according to the third “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” national survey.

More than 670 domestic violence shelters across the country were surveyed in March 2011. Shelters report the economy’s decline since 2008 has increased demand for their services, and they also note their shelters’ ability to raise funds and provide services will be hampered over the next 12 months. Detailed findings from the 2011 “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” survey reveal alarming trends in light of the economy’s decline since 2008, including:

· 80 percent of domestic violence shelters nationwide (more than three out of four) report an increase in women seeking assistance from abuse.

· 73 percent of shelters attribute this rise in abuse to financial issues.

· 48 percent of shelters link this increase in domestic violence to job loss.

· 89 percent of domestic violence shelters expect their overall situation during the next 12 months will be worse than now, or the same as now, due to the economy.

· 76 percent of domestic violence shelters (three out of four) indicate their funding has decreased the most from governmental organizations.

· 65 percent of women in shelters can’t find employment due to the economy.

· 56 percent of shelters note the abuse is more violent now than before the economic downturn.

· 77 percent of shelters (more than three-fourths) indicate their clients stayed longer in their relationships due to the state of the economy.

Anne Crews, Mary Kay Inc. vice president of government relations and board member for The Mary Kay Foundation^SM, added: “The survey results clearly identify the increasing need for supporting women and children affected by domestic violence nationwide – especially in a challenging economy. Mary Kay pledges once again to continue its commitment to preventing and ending this epidemic. For nearly 48 years, we’ve been true to our approach of doing well by doing good. And we will continue to stand on our promise to help change the lives of women and children in the United States and around the world.”

The third “Mary Kay Truth About Abuse” survey polled 672 domestic violence shelters across the United States about domestic violence and the economy since September 2008, a major turning point in the U.S. economy. The study was conducted online between March 14-30, 2011. Comprehensive 2011 survey findings summarize national and regional results. Mary Kay conducted its first nationwide survey of shelters in 2009 and second in 2010.

Great Ways to Help Make A Difference with Break the Cycle, Joyful Heart Foundation, and the Allstate Foundation

2011-04-22T13:25:00.000-05:00

Do you want to do something to help nonprofit organizations -- but you don't have person funds to do so yourself? Let Chase and Allstate do it for you! Here are two great ways:

Help CAEPV Members Break the Cycle and Joyful Heart Foundation win up to $500,000 from Chase Community Giving.

If you've never participated in Chase Community Giving before, you'll be to asked to “like” Chase Community Giving (https://www.facebook.com/ChaseCommunityGiving ) and grant the application access to your Facebook profile--once you click "Allow" you'll be taken through to the voting page.

• Break the Cycle: https://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/954582664-break-the-cycle
• Joyful Heart: https://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/721519537-joyful-heart-foundation

Join Allstate, Make a Promise to Improve Your Finances, and Help Grameen America

Join the Allstate Foundation and Dress for Success in making a promise to improve your finances. Click to Empower! will donate $1 to Grameen America for every promise made. Help them reach their goal of donating up to $10,000.

It's simple, click on the Make a Promise tab on their Facebook page and select a promise!

So....click away!

TWO NEW STUDIES FIND MEN SUFFER PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA FROM PARTNER ABUSE

2011-04-08T12:25:00.000-05:00

Men who are abused by their female partners can suffer significant psychological trauma, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and suicidal thoughts, according to two new papers published by the American Psychological Association.

Although most reported domestic abuse is committed by men against women, a growing body of research has picked up on the prevalence and significance of domestic violence perpetrated against men, says research published in the April issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinity.

“Given the stigma surrounding this issue and the increased vulnerability of men in these abusive relationships, we as mental health experts should not ignore the need for more services for these men,” said British researcher Anna Randle, PsyD, lead author of a paper summarizing two decades of research into domestic violence effects on men.

Approximately 8 percent of men and 25 percent of women reported being sexually or physically assaulted by a current or former partner, according to the National Violence against Women Survey, which polled 8,000 men and 8,000 women and was published by the National Institute of Justice in 1998. While this survey did not indicate the sex of the perpetrator, it provided the most up-to-date comprehensive interpersonal violence statistics at the time of the study, according to the researchers.

One analysis of the survey’s results showed that male victims were just as likely to suffer from PTSD as female victims of domestic abuse. In addition, psychological abuse was just as strongly associated with PTSD as was physical violence in these male victims. “This raises questions and concerns for male victims of domestic violence, given findings that women are more likely to perpetrate psychological than physical aggression toward male partners,” wrote Randle.

Randle noted one study showing that abuse rates among same-sex couples are similar to those of heterosexual couples. However, the depth of research on male same-sex couples is limited when compared to studies of heterosexual couples, she said.

In the second study, led by Denise Hines, PhD, from Clark University, researchers looked at two independent sample groups totaling 822 men between the ages of 18 and 59. The first sample was composed of 302 men who had sought professional help after being violently abused by their female partners. The authors called this “intimate terrorism,” characterized by much violence and controlling behavior.

The second sample was composed of 520 men randomly recruited to participate in a national phone survey in which they were asked questions about their relationship. Of this general community, 16 percent said they had sustained minor acts of violent and psychological abuse during arguments with their female partners. This type of abuse was referred to in the research as “common couple violence,” in which both partners lashed out physically at each other.

The researchers found that in both groups of men, there were associations between abuse and post-traumatic stress symptoms. However, the “intimate terror victims” who had sought professional help were at a much greater risk of developing PTSD than the men from the general community group who said they had engaged in more minor acts of violence with their partners, according to the researchers.

“This is the first study to show that PTSD is a major concern among men who sustain partner violence and seek help,” said Hines.

Research has shown severe underreporting of spousal or partner abuse of men, according to Randle. For example, men are not as likely to report serious injuries due to abuse, and psychological or less violent abuse is more likely to go unreported to authorities. In addition, police are less likely to arrest female suspects accused of violence than male suspects, according to another study cited by Randle.

The lack of reliable data has led to some confusion in the literature on domestic violence effects on men, the researchers said. They suggest more rigorous research focusing specifically on male victims.

Article: “A Review of the Evidence on the Effects of Intimate Partner Violence on Men.” Anna A. Randle, PsyD, Multidimensional Treatment Foster Care, England; Cynthia A. Graham, PhD, Brunel University, England; Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol. 12, No.2. http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-12-2-97.pdf

Article: “Symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence: A Study of Help seeking and Community Samples.” Denise A. Hines, PhD, Clark University; Emily M. Douglas, PhD, Bridgewater State College; Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol. 12, No. 2. http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/men-12-2-112.pdf

Workplace Violence Down 75 Percent Since 1993

2011-04-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

Here's some great news -- workplace violence fell 75 percent from 1993 to 2009, affecting law enforcement officers, security guards and bartenders the most, U.S. officials say.

Erika Harrell, a statistician at the Justice Department Bureau of Justice Statistics, says workplace violence dropped from 2.1 million non-fatal violent crimes in 1993 to 572,000 non-fatal violent crimes in 2009. Non-fatal violent crimes are defined as rape, robbery or assault.

The number of workplace homicides decreased by 51 percent, from a high of 1,068 homicides in 1993 to 521 homicides in 2009, Harrell says. Eighty percent of workplace homicides were shootings.

Who is victimized? Males had a higher rate of workplace violence. Non-Hispanic whites had a higher rate of workplace violence than non-Hispanic blacks and people ages 20-34 had the highest rate of workplace violence.

What about who commits the violence? Strangers committed about 53 percent of non-fatal workplace violence against males and about 41 percent against females. From 2005 to 2009, 38 percent of workplace homicide offenders were robbers, 32 percent were other assailants, 21 percent were work associates and 8 percent were spouses, relatives and other personal acquaintances.

An interesting question - what will the "downtick" or "uptick" be from 2009 - 2011? Some people believe the economic downturn has caused an increase in workplace violence. Is this true? Or does it just "seem" that way to us?

And while it's great that workplace violence in general has gone down, if you are an employer (or employee) dealing with an unsafe workplace situation, it doesn't matter to you if workplace violence is "on the decline"...you don't feel safe and you need help. That's why we are thankful we can assist employers who are members of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence in "real time" - and provide general information to employers who call or email us.

Visit our website at http://www.caepv.org/ for resources and information. (And don't forget, just like outside of work, violence at work is a crime. Report it to law enforcement.)

(The report, Workplace Violence, 1993-2009, (NCJ 233231), is available at http://www.bjs.gov/. )

What Are We Missing (or Why Do We Miss It?)

2011-03-22T11:43:00.000-05:00

Perhaps you've seen the reports about the study from the University of Pennsyvania that found about 80 percent of female victims of intimate partner violence are treated in U.S. hospitals, but most are not identified as abuse victims.

The study, published online in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, found of the women treated in hospital emergency rooms, 72 percent are not identified as abuse victims, and of those who are identified, few are offered adequate support.

It is interesting because many hospitals have mandated protocols regarding domestic violence - it is also interesting because (quoting the study here) "Women who had filed a police complaint the day of treatment, had been taken to the hospital by police, had self-disclosed domestic assault, or had mental health and substance abuse issues were more likely to be identified as victims of domestic violence."

Why is that interesting to me? Because ER staff may do what many of us tend to do..."assume" what a victim of domestic violence looks like or what they might be like.....not realizing a victim of domestic violence could really be anyone who walks into the ER.

Just like a victim could be anyone walking through our workplaces.

I remember doing a training for managers at one of our CAEPV member companies and talking about some of the potential signs a person might be a victim of domestic violence -- but then noting "Or -- the person may not show ANY of these signs....your overachieving greatest worker may be suffering from domestic violence at home."

A manager looked at me, sighed, and said (rather exasperated) "Then how am I supposed to know WHO is my victim of domestic violence?"

I said "You aren't."

I explained that a manager wants to make sure everyone who works for him/her gets the resources and information about domestic violence to all employees. Because you just never know who may be a victim.

So - why does the ER "miss" domestic violence? Why does the workplace miss it?

I think we "miss it" because we "want to find our victim".....we want to think we "know" what a person who commits domestic violence looks like...or what a person who lives through domestic violence looks like.

But we don't.

So I think I understand why (protocols aside), emergency room staff struggle just like we all do. We miss it because we think "it can't be that person." (Even if we don't consciously think it.)

It is a good lesson to learn - by assuming who is NOT a victim, we may not give information, or ask a question that may save a life. Not only at a hospital, or a doctor's office....but at a workplace, a school, a community of faith, a family....anywhere.

Domestic Violence Costs Australia $13 Billion A Year

2011-03-10T12:21:00.000-06:00

So -- what does domestic violence cost?

A new national report from Australia has put a figure on the economic cost of domestic violence and has found abusive relationships have a significant impact on a woman's financial security in that country.

Researchers, including Dr. Rachelle Braaf from the University of New South Wales, interviewed both victims of violence and service providers. Dr. Braaf says domestic abuse costs the Australian economy more than $13 billion a year.

"It is a huge cost to the Australian economy - not only in responding directly to domestic violence, but also to things like the impact on work and productivity, impact on the healthcare system, impact on the legal system and so on," she said.

The study also found domestic violence has a significant impact on a woman's financial security, both during and after the relationship. It found the decision to stay or leave an abusive relationship is, for many women, affected by financial factors.

The research shows money issues are usually either the trigger or the obstacle to leaving, with many women finding men in control of their finances or impeding their ability to work. Financial difficulties also impact on a woman's recovery from abuse, with ongoing legal issues, costly child care and dealing with debts incurred by their partners.

"What we were trying to do was to investigate whether financial issues were playing a bigger role than previously suspected in terms of women's safety and their ability to recover from the abuse, and the research has definitely shown that that is the case," Dr. Braaf said.

"Primarily we wanted people to understand that there is that strong link between domestic violence and women's financial outcomes."

The report recommends governments and financial institutions help fund special products such as low-interest loans for victims of domestic violence and that employers establish more supportive workplace arrangements.

Not only does this study show that domestic violence is not just a "private matter" impacting only the lives of those involved, but it shows the importance of programs like those within workplaces of CAEPV member companies.

It also shows the importance of programs like the Allstate Foundation's financial literacy program (I really encourage you to visit this site -- you'll be amazed at the curriculum they provide...and inspired by the videos!) The Allstate Foundation supports survivors through resources targeted to build financial independence -- and educates the public on how hard it is for people to leave an abusive relationship without economic resources.

For more information on the costs of domestic violence in terms of the workplace, productivity, healthcare, etc, visit the FACTS AND STATS section of the CAEPV website.

While I would never measure the cost of domestic violence in terms of dollars alone...it is important for us to understand that whether we know it or not, it impacts us all. Perhaps seeing it in terms of dollars and cents will make it more real for some.

ALLSTATE FOUNDATION VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS WORK TO END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

2011-03-08T08:56:00.001-06:00

The Allstate Foundation is proud of the passion that Allstate employees and agents have for serving their communities. Now you can help support it, too.

Once again one of Allstate’s YouTube videos highlighting the Foundation’s work to end domestic violence is competing for an award. The video features the important work that an Allstate Agent and domestic violence advocate are doing to build the financial empowerment of domestic violence survivors. Help this video secure a spot in the top ten for the second year in a row.

Click here to view and vote for their video.

The Boston College Center for Corporate Citizenship is where leading corporate citizens go to stay ahead of the curve – and The Allstate Foundation is honored that their video is being showcased in their contest. Public voting will narrow down the videos candidates to the top ten between now and March 10. Then, public voting closes and Boston College membership will select the winner.

The Allstate Foundation needs your help to get into the top ten! They ask that you encourage your networks to vote too at www.bcccc.net/index.cfm?pageId=2244

Blindsided

2011-02-21T09:38:00.000-06:00

Last night we were driving home from doing errands and getting groceries and we saw it....a car run a red light and slam into another car.

I'm sure the person who had the green had no idea what was coming - you don't expect that you have to look out for people running red lights when you are proceeding down the road with a "full on" green light.

The driver who was hit was pretty "shocked" -- he didn't seem hurt (thank goodness) but he just seemed...well blindsided. He just did not expect to get hit out of nowhere. He was just driving along obeying the traffic rules and suddenly out of nowhere he was t-boned, swung around, and turned the wrong way on a one-way street with a damaged vehicle.

After we made sure both drivers were ok, called 911, talked to the police, and went on our way, my husband and I were talking about how no one expects to get hit like that.

In a lot of accidents...you kind of see it coming....you kind of know you are going to get in an accident....but not when you are blindsided.

It made me think about domestic violence.

No one goes into a relationship expecting to be abused. No one loves a person, has a person say they love them back....expecting to be hit, or verbally abused, or called ugly names...

By the time that happens....I think a person is blindsided. A lot like the guy in the car accident last night. They were going on in life, expecting to be safe and secure and loved in a relationship...and instead they were blindsided.

I noticed this morning when I was driving to work that I was looking around corners for cars that might "blindside" me...I don't usually do that. I'm careful...but I usually expect that most drivers will obey the traffic laws.

I don't expect to be blindsided.

No one should.

Not when we're driving. And not when we're in relationships with people who are supposed to love us.

"When You Solve Million Dollar Problems Every Day For A Living..."

2011-02-10T12:24:00.001-06:00

“WHEN YOU SOLVE MILLION DOLLAR PROBLEMS EVERY DAY FOR A LIVING, WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR PARTNER ABUSING YOU, YOU FIGURE YOU CAN SOLVE THAT PROBLEM, TOO. THE TROUBLE IS, YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT MAKE THE PERSON START HITTING YOU, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP.” (Senior Human Resources Executive, Fortune 500 Company)

The above quote is from a woman working at a company that is a member of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV). She told me the hardest thing she ever did was walk down the hall to ask for help from someone who worked for her.

Because she was supposed to be the smart, professional educated one…not the one being abused and asking for help.

So how does domestic violence impact the workplace? Here’s some insight from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

• In February of 2008, the CDC released the most comprehensive US survey regarding intimate partner violence - 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.

• According to the CDC, intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence.

• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).

And some additional insights into productivity losses:

• Researchers from the University of Arkansas found that women who were victims of recent domestic violence had 26 percent more time lost to tardiness and absenteeism than non-victims.

If you think that this does not happen to people who work, think again. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence did a national survey of full-time employed adults, and found the following:

• 21% of the full-time employed adults polled identified themselves as victims of domestic violence; 64% percent of them indicated their ability to work was significantly impacted

• 31% of co-workers felt obliged to cover for a co-worker who as a victim; 38% of co-workers were concerned for their own safety

What about abusers? The Maine Department of Labor found that:

• 78% of surveyed perpetrators used workplace resources to express remorse or anger, check up on, pressure, or threaten their victim

• 74% had easy access to their intimate partner’s workplace

• 21% of offenders reported they contacted the victim at the workplace

And why is it that victims don’t just leave?

• In cases of homicide related to domestic violence; 75% of the time it is when the victim is leaving or has left the abuser. This means leaving is potentially VERY dangerous for a victim—a victim who may be your employee.

What about workplace safety?

• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents (BLS, October 2006)

So why should employers care about this? If you haven’t already gotten the sense (and there is more information available in the Facts and Stats section of the CAEPV website):

• It is an absenteeism issue
• It is a productivity issue
• It is a turnover issue
• It is a presenteeism issue (this means you are present, but not really focused and able to work)
• It is a workplace safety issue

And who in your workplace is potentially impacted by domestic violence coming to work?

• Victim
• Abusive person
• Co-worker
• Manager
• Family member

So what can an employer do?

Here are the "six steps" that we suggest at the Corporate Alliance for creating a successful domestic violence in the workplace policy. You can find an entire downloadable document on these six steps on our website at http://www.caepv.org/ in our Take Action/Starting a Workplace Program Section.

1) Organize a multi-disciplinary team to oversee the process.
A multidisciplinary team allows the stakeholders in different areas of the company to plan for program implementation in a way that works best for the organization. The stakeholder group should establish a realistic action plan and timeline for implementing the program. Areas that should be represented on the team include professionals from the following areas: human resources; health and medical; legal; security; internal communications; public or media relations or consumer affairs; community outreach; employee assistance programs (EAPs); and unions.

A key component to the success of a workplace program is a commitment from the uppermost levels of the organization. To give the team legitimacy, it is optimal to have the chief executive officer (CEO) or president appoint its members. In this first step, employers may want to consider surveying employees regarding issues of workplace safety, including intimate partner violence. This approach allows the multidisciplinary team to have a baseline level regarding employee awareness of all workplace safety issues.

2) Develop a workplace policy addressing intimate partner violence.

The CAEPV sample policy (available on our website) includes the issue of intimate partner violence in a more comprehensive policy on workplace safety. This fact does not mean that a company cannot have a separate policy on domestic violence as a workplace issue. For example, CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. has two distinct policies; however, the inclusion of intimate partner violence within a comprehensive policy may streamline the process for many companies.

The multidisciplinary team should review existing policies and procedures to determine which policy covers the issue of intimate partner violence. Examples of such policies include family friendly benefits, such as flexible leave time that can be used to attend court or go to counseling. The policy should allow supervisors and human resources professionals to offer paid time off, flexible hours, or new shifts to victims so that the victims can avoid or flee their batterers, seek social service assistance, or deal with legal matters. Policies should emphasize that no violence or threats of violence should take place on workplace grounds or while an employee is on duty or acting in the interests of the employer, and they should spell out potential consequences of such actions.

This approach holds true whether the person making the threat is to a co-worker, vendor, or intimate partner at home. It allows companies to discipline abusive employees who are violent or who threaten violence, including those who use workplace phones, faxes, or e-mail or other resources to harass their intimate partners.

State and municipal laws vary greatly with reference to intimate partner violence and workplace issues such as unemployment insurance and nondiscrimination laws. Companies should work directly with their legal departments to develop policies and programs. They can access up-to-date information on legislation regarding intimate partner violence and unemployment insurance, leave for victims of domestic violence, nondiscrimination laws, domestic violence policies, and workplace restraining orders at the Legal Momentum website (www.legalmomentum.org ).

The focus of workplace policies and plans should be safety issues for the workplace and for the victim. Keep in mind that a workplace policy and program is only as good as the internal culture that supports it. Companies must create a workplace in which victimized employees believe that they will get help and will not be fired or discriminated against for sharing this information with a supervisor or manager. The same must be true for batterers who voluntarily seek help through workplace resources.

3) Provide training - "Recognize, Respond and Refer”.

A series of departments within each organization should be trained; first and foremost, all members of the interdisciplinary team should receive training. This training includes awareness and general knowledge of intimate partner violence and familiarity with the company’s policies and protocols in handling such cases. Specific protocols include determining who brings the team together when a case comes up and how cases are reviewed. This training must take place before any internal publicity about the policy or program.

Members of the security team should be trained to perform threat assessments; help create individual workplace safety plans; and assist victims of intimate partner violence by providing escorts to and from the office, securing parking and work spaces, screening calls, and providing other services. In some states, employers can apply for orders of protection on behalf of victimized employees.

The goal is to train managers to recognize—to be aware of signs of violence for potential victims and perpetrators, and local domestic violence service providers often can assist with this training at little or no cost. Because managers are not in a position to address domestic violence as a separate issue unless the employee self-discloses the problem, managers should understand how to respond—to appropriately address changes in behavior that is affecting performance. Finally, managers should learn to whom to refer—whom to call internally and externally if such a situation arises. (There is actually a fourth “R” if a workplace gets really good—reach out—partner with the community and other employers.)

Training should include issues of privacy and confidentiality. In some companies, information regarding a domestic violence situation is kept separately from the regular employee file to protect the confidentiality of the victim. Company representatives should not give personal advice or counseling (unless they are part of an in-house EAP)—this type of help should be left to the experts. Explanations of items, such as protective orders and how to enforce them under local law, are helpful. Training should outline what actions are appropriate and what referrals are available. Policies and protocols are guidelines, however, and there are not always black and white correct answers. Many incidents have to be handled on a case-by-case basis.

Employee education should include an understanding of intimate partner violence, possible warning signs, and how to respond sensitively and confidentially when victimized employees are identified. Employees should learn how to communicate with a victim or a perpetrator. As in the case of managers, coworkers are not counselors, but are facilitators for helping co-workers.

4) Build awareness through workplace communications.

Employers can use newsletters, payroll stuffers, e-mail, intranet sites, posters, and brochures to provide ongoing information to employees. Many of these materials are available for free or for a nominal fee from local service providers and other organizations.

Employers should incorporate information about awareness of domestic violence into employee orientation programs, handbooks, or intranet-based human resources information. For the best effect, educational and awareness programs on domestic violence should be intertwined with other complimentary programs. Employee wellness fairs, workplace safety programs, and family issues seminars are effective venues for sharing information about intimate partner violence.

5) Enlist employees' help to ensure a violence-free zone.

Employees should know that they will not be penalized for seeking help for themselves, their families, or co-workers. In conjunction with the human resources department and EAP (if applicable), employers should offer resources for victims of intimate partner violence and abusers. Employees should be educated regarding security procedures to keep themselves and others safe in the workplace, including how to avoid inadvertently giving batterers access to victims and where to go to report a potential threat. Employees should receive information on how to recognize the signs of a troublesome or abusive relationship and know where to turn for assistance for themselves or for co-workers.

A 2001 study found that perpetrators of deadly domestic violence had several common characteristics, including extreme jealousy and possessiveness, stalking, and hitting victims at least once before the death occurred. All of these abusers had been violent with a previous partner. In this study, everyone who was close to the victims and perpetrators knew that something was wrong in the relationships but did not intervene. Employers must work with victims to develop an individualized workplace safety plan without making assistance contingent on any action by the abused person (e.g., leaving the batterer).

For additional employee education, employers can invite local resource groups, such as local shelters, counseling groups, or law enforcement agencies, to provide speakers for company programs. Most local groups are happy to provide speakers and information. Companies should empower employees to take a stand—as caring co-workers and as the company’s ambassadors. Interested employees can form a communications task force that works within the guidelines established by the cross-functional steering committee to implement a communications plan.

6) Broaden communications to include the community, important stakeholders in the company’s industry, and other organizations.

Employers can spread the word and encourage other companies to participate by communicating the message to key external stakeholders, including local and trade media, community and trade organizations, customers, suppliers, shareholders, and government officials. Networking with other employers to share case studies and best practices strengthens the employer’s program and provides a forum to provide assistance to other employers that may be interested in addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue.

Whether individually or in groups, these employers are committed to reaching out to the community to engage local service providers in training their staff or EAP members. They also engage employees in volunteer activities for service providers. They partner with service agencies for events, such as medical fairs, employee-wellness fairs, and community projects, and conduct drives to collect clothes, toys, furniture, or money for a local domestic violence program or shelter.

Employers who take on the challenge of addressing intimate partner violence as a workplace issue are true leaders. They are choosing enlightened self-interest in an effort to save lives—and change society.

As a survivor of intimate partner violence shared with me, ‘‘Were it not for my company’s program on intimate partner violence, not only would I probably not have a job, I would probably not be alive today.’’

Who Are You Rooting For on Superbowl Sunday?

2011-02-04T12:11:00.000-06:00

Who are you rooting for on Superbowl Sunday?

If you know me, you know I'm a Bears fan...so clearly my team isn't going to the Superbowl. A part of me is rooting for the Packers, even though they are sworn enemies of the Bears, since they are the NFC champs.

So...why am I writing about the Superbowl in this blog about domestic violence and the workplace? Because there's a young man named Will Gay who plays for the Steelers -- and I'm rooting for him on Sunday.

Why am I rooting for Will?

Take a look at the vignette below that he taped for The Women's Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh on the tragic death of his mother at the hands of her husband. It is a heartbreaking story and shows the effects domestic violence had on his life.

Will is a hero for speaking out for all the children who can't. Will is a hero for talking about his experiences when so many others cannot.

I am sure his mother is proud of him every day.

I am rooting for Will. Not only on Superbowl Sunday but everyday. And for everyone like Will who makes it.

PRUDENTIAL FINANCIAL, INC. JOINS THE CORPORATE ALLIANCE TO END PARTNER VIOLENCE

2011-01-24T14:16:00.000-06:00

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) is pleased to announce that Prudential Financial, Inc. has joined its membership. CAEPV Executive Director Kim Wells said, "We are so pleased to have one of the world’s financial services leaders as a member of the Corporate Alliance.”

Prudential Financial, Inc. (NYSE: PRU), a financial services leader, has operations in the United States, Asia, Europe, and Latin America. Prudential’s diverse and talented employees are committed to helping individual and institutional customers grow and protect their wealth through a variety of products and services, including life insurance, annuities, retirement-related services, mutual funds, investment management, and real estate services. In the U.S., Prudential’s iconic Rock symbol has stood for strength, stability, expertise and innovation for more than a century. For more information, please visit http://www.news.prudential.com .

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is a leading force in the fight against intimate partner violence and its effects on the workplace. It is the only national organization of its kind founded by business leaders and focused on the workplace. Since 1995, the Alliance has brought together dozens of progressive companies who exchange information, collaborate on projects, and use their influence to instigate change. The Alliance offers extensive research, policy knowledge and issue expertise to the business community, including training, program guidance, and crisis consultation – with programs designed to make the workplace safe and to prevent intimate partner violence from impacting the workplace. CAEPV has member and associate organizations reaching employees across the US and around the world. For more information, please visit http://www.caepv.org/.

Selected corporate members include Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital, Allstate Insurance Company, American Express, Aon Hewitt, ADM, Avon Products, Inc., Blue Shield of California Foundation, CIGNA, Chestnut Global Partners, COUNTRY Financial, Eastman Kodak, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Health Care Service Corporation – Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Illinois, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas, Kaiser Permanente, Lifetime Television, Liz Claiborne Inc., Mary Kay Inc., Prudential Financial, Inc., Rutgers University, State Farm Insurance Companies, Verizon Communications, Verizon Wireless, The Wireless Foundation, and The World Bank Group.

Internationally, the Corporate Alliance Against Domestic Violence UK and the Hurriyet Media Group are CAEPV members.

We look forward to working with Prudential and it's employees!

What Do You Leave At The Door When You Walk Into Work?

2011-01-18T11:16:00.000-06:00

Well, I haven't written a post since mid-December...and that's very unusual for me. Right now I am typing with one hand because I fractured my elbow and had surgery - so I've been a bit out of it for a while.

Today is my first day back - and I am certainly not leaving my problem with my elbow at the door - that would be impossible to do. It affects how I feel, how I do my work, how well I concentrate....and it certainly impacts those around me who need things from me.

But this is just a fractured elbow. And I don't have to hide WHY I fractured it....and I am not afraid to go home at night.

What about when a person is dealing with domestic violence? As I often say, that does not stay at the door when a person goes to work, either.

The costs at work? Here are just a few:

• A 2005 national telephone survey by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) found that 21% of full-time employed adults were victims of domestic violence and 64% of them indicated their work performance was significantly impacted.
• In February of 2008, the CDC released the most comprehensive US survey regarding intimate partner violence – 23.6% of women and 11.5% of men reported at least one lifetime episode of intimate-partner violence.
• According to the CDC, intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8.0 million days of paid work a year—the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs—and nearly 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of the violence.
• The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity (e.g., time away from work).
• Domestic violence coming to the workplace accounts for 24% of workplace violence incidents (Bureau of Labor Statistics, October 2006)
• The annual cost of lost productivity due to domestic violence is estimated as $727.8 million, with over 7.9 million paid workdays lost each year.
• The costs of intimate partner violence exceed $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health care services, xii much of which is paid for by the employer.

Fortunately we have resources to help enlightened employers at www.caepv.org.

What do you leave at the door when you walk into work? For victims of domestic violence, unfortunately they can no more leave the impact of abuse at home than I can this unusable arm.

That's clear to me - what about you?

Domestic Violence and the Holidays - What Do You Say?

2010-12-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

So -- it's the holidays and you will be around family and friends that you may not usually see. And what if you see something that you are concerned about? What if you think someone you care about may not be in a safe relationship?

Here is the big difficult question:"What do you say to someone if you are concerned that they may be in an abusive relationship?"

Here is one pretty good way that I've found to talk with someone -- granted this is my style and everyone has a different style, but it goes something like this:

"You know I really care a lot about you. I've noticed you haven't been yourself lately, and that (and you would fill in here the other things you've noticed -- like that the person seems afraid of their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, has unexplained injuries, seems isolated, etc.). I would rather be wrong or have you mad at me for asking than ever have anything bad happen to you so I just have to check in with you and ask -- are you safe in your relationship?"

Because really, if you think about it, that is the point, isn't it? You WOULD rather be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable asking, or be wrong rather than have something bad happen to a friend of yours and not say something.

And -- so what if your friend tells you that he or she is fine?

Then say: "Hey, that is great. But if you ever decide you aren't ok, I want you to know my door is always open." And you may also want to add, "And if you were ever concerned that I was not safe, I would hope you would ask me the same question, right?"

Because the point is, if we really have one another's backs, we should be able to ask each other these questions. And then if you can, you may want to check in again with your family member or friend again in a few weeks just to see how things are going.

People don't always tell you right away when they are in a relationship that is not safe or good for them. It takes time and it is not easy.

For help or assistance anytime, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out http://www.thehotline.org. Or for teens, check out the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline -- on the web at http://www.loveisrespect.org or at 1-866-331-9474.

It never hurts to ask -- and it may help change or save the life of someone you care about.

(And survivors....any comments or additional suggestions you have are most welcome! You know best what is helpful!)

DECEMBER 8 IS 7TH ANNUAL "IT'S TIME TO TALK DAY" - TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK

2010-12-08T07:06:00.001-06:00

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is participating in Liz Claiborne Inc’s 7th annual It’s Time to Talk Day, a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss — domestic violence. On December 8^th Kim Wells will be on “Radio Row” talking about domestic violence at Liz Claiborne headquarters in New York City. For more information visit www.loveisnotabuse.com.

As Liz Claiborne CEO Bill McComb said during the kick off of It's Time to Talk Day at a special screening of "Telling Amy's Story" on December 7, just take a moment to talk to someone about domestic violence/dating violence and share something you've learned. You could save a life.

Let's talk on December 8 - and keep on talking!

CAEPV RECEIVES $30,000 DONATION FROM HOPELINE FROM VERIZON TO ADDRESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS WORKPLACE ISSUE

2010-11-30T08:36:00.000-06:00

I usually share something cool that happens to another organization courtesy of the companies that we work with here at the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV). Today I am writing about a wonderful contribution we received to further our work to make domestic violence "Everybody's Business."

On November 30, 2010, Verizon Wireless announced that the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV) is receiving a $30,000 donation from HopeLine® from Verizon, aiding CAEPV in its mission to help businesses address the impact of domestic violence in the workplace.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), intimate partner violence victims lose a total of nearly 8 million days of paid work a year, the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs, and the cost of domestic violence to the U.S. economy is more than $8.3 billion. A 2005 national telephone survey by CAEPV found that 21 percent of full-time employed adults were victims of domestic violence and 64 percent of them indicated their work performance was significantly impacted.

The HopeLine from Verizon donation will help CAEPV fund educational programs and webinars that help increase employer awareness of domestic violence as a workplace issue and offer strategies for how employers can recognize and respond to this issue.

"Domestic violence can affect people of all backgrounds in all aspects of their lives, including the workplace," said Elva Lima, executive director of community relations for Verizon Wireless. "We're honored to partner with organizations like CAEPV that are working to increase awareness of domestic violence outside the home and providing much needed tools and resources to help reduce partner violence."

The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is a national nonprofit organization dedicated to reducing the costs and consequences of partner violence at work – and eliminating it altogether. From policies and programs to legal issues and legislation, CAEPV is a credible source for information, materials and advice.

"We are very grateful to receive this donation from Verizon Wireless and for their ongoing dedication to preventing domestic violence both within the workplace and in communities," said Kim Wells, executive director of the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence. "Domestic violence doesn't stop at the door when employees go to work, and the HopeLine donation allows us to further raise awareness and help workplaces manage this issue."

The long-running HopeLine program puts the nation's most reliable wireless network to work in the community by turning no-longer-used wireless phones into support for those affected by domestic violence. Proceeds from the HopeLine program are used to provide wireless phones and airtime to victims of domestic violence and cash grants to local shelters and nonprofit organizations that focus on domestic violence prevention, awareness and advocacy. Learn more about HopeLine at www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnkDUsmkQlk.

For more information on HopeLine from Verizon, visit www.verizonwireless.com/hopeline. To learn more about CAEPV, visit www.caepv.org.

We are so excited to be able to invest these funds in changing the landscape of society by addressing domestic violence as a workplace issue. More to come!

LIZ CLAIBORNE'S "IT'S TIME TO TALK DAY" TAKES PLACE DECEMBER 8, 2010

2010-11-12T11:14:00.000-06:00

CAEPV Member Liz Claiborne Inc. and it’s partners have been joining forces for It's Time to Talk Day annually as a way to encourage greater public dialogue about domestic violence. The Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence is proud to be one of those partners.

Liz Claiborne Inc. created It’s Time to Talk Day to draw major national attention to the importance of talking about domestic violence, teen dating violence and intimate partner abuse.

This year, they are continuing their very successful partnership with Talk Radio News Service by sponsoring their annual “Talk Radio Row on Domestic Violence” at Liz Claiborne Inc. headquarters in New York City.

Around the country, talk radio, government officials, domestic violence advocates, businesses, schools and the public-at-large take a moment - or more - to talk openly about an issue that affects nearly one in three women at some point in their lifetime. In fact, millions of talk radio listeners around the country were reached with the message since the inception of It’s Time to Talk Day in 2004.

Leading national and local talk radio hosts will once again conduct back-to-back interviews with guests on various domestic violence issues throughout the entire day.

Partners for 2010 include Seventeen, the National Foundation for Women Legislators (NFWL), MTV’s digital abuse campaign “A Thin Line,” Love is Louder, Verizon Foundation and Mariska Hargitay’s Joyful Heart Foundation -- joining domestic violence advocates and experts, attorneys general, local, state and federal legislators, celebrities, corporate and government leaders, parents and teens on air to talk about what we can do to end domestic violence and teen dating abuse, how we can get involved in prevention, and how and where victims can get help.

Radio Row will begin at morning drive time, 5 a.m., and will end about 7 p.m. EST. Every hour, a group of different featured guests will be interviewed by the talk radio hosts on the air at that time.

You can make a difference by hosting an It's Time to Talk Day event in your community. For the past several years cities and organizations from around the country held various programs to raise awareness of the issue. Programs and events have ranged from big, organized efforts such as press conferences, walks and vigils, to creative projects such as plays, and lastly educational efforts were made to devote this day to teaching the curriculum at local schools. For event ideas for your community, click here.

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LIZ CLAIBORNE'S "IT'S TIME TO TALK DAY" TAKES PLACE DECEMBER 8, 2010

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.